[Italianangel]

omg that is too funny, I should f**k with you guys more often, I had not idea how easy it would be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pinch to you lizzy!

If it were a FAME show you could prob do a yellow fluffy suit with sparkles and it would pass.........at least for fitness model.

My mind is racing today, and you all are prob sick of my LOOOOONG 'self in thought' posts!
Lately my journal is like a sorting spot for my mind.
I am posting to me too, not just all of the net.

I feel lean, tight, and full. I am satisfied mentally, physically, emotionally, stomach wise too........and pain is at bay, or at least I am able to drown it out, its mild enough, and a couple advil help........I am pushing things and my body is responding with strength and power, how faithful.......I am so happy and I think acknowledging this, putting it out there may help keep this roll going.....if you are into the universe and God and all that - I am.

Been tanning, feels and looks good. all my clothing are falling off my hips, even the small tight workout stuff....stretchy stuff.....its all fitting loose on my waist and being held up by my quads.........typical bodybuilder syndrome in cloth fittings. I think that is cool!

I am going to be on Shaw TV, a show called Express, I think it airs Friday. They are supposed to be giving me a DVD copy so if so, I can put it up on youtube and link it here. Apparently the shows on that stations repeat the same day like 4 times so I should be able to catch it somehow.
The came into the gym yesterday and taped me during my dress rehearsal/routine run through.

At this point Kyle my choreographer for this show, which was nice, I usually do my own.......said even if I mess up, at this point, I will still look good and no one would know so its all cherry on top now! I worked through wardrobe malfunctions.........my top, it goes around my neck too, and first time through, head up during a push up phase, pop, snapped off, luckily only to the upper chest, nothing fell out but then I realized I had hooks on the neck that need retouching with sewing and that have to be hooked before I go on stage, did not notice them, only did up the velcro part.....and I am going to pin it too! These puppies are smaller as I lean but still heavy.

My bikini top was made especially for my saggy, natural chest, my prob in overall appearance with the regular bikini top that crossed in the back, it had no support so it leaned my look toward the negative.........this top this time was made with a special design so that I look like I have implants like the rest of the perky gals!!!!! Its amazing.....if you look closely above at the fluffy yellow pics above, pay attention to the boob area, then look back at my in the black suit........you can see a huge improvement, I finally fit in! oh pun.....

I have broken up training to am/pm and had only followed Mariams program for a week or 2, it was too hard on my schedule and with my back and routine etc, not the right fit so I am working kinda day to day right now in order to make it all work. I actually squatted a set the other day and today did 2, with 35lb per side......I barely make 90 before my back screams though but I can see some twinging in my quads even doing the partials and it fricken felt soooooo good!!!!!
I know I cannot push deads, that position is just too vulnerable but squats I may be able to work up to again, and pad the right muscles to help.....a door, a window, a light!!!!!!! AMEN!

I ran yesterday with my new Nike free runs 5.0, wow......I normally use orthodics but cannot in these so it could hurt my ankles but so far it worked them and they were sore today like a workout not sore sore......so thats good but also to continue my day of thanks and appreciation, running was so easy.....I jogged at 5.5 mph for 20 mins with some walking before and after......and it was nothing, I was barely breathing.........my cardio had perked up big time with the routine work, being anaerobic, for some reason I seem to do very well with that type of work, aerobic being great for my condition, it has improved with my anaerobic work ironically.
For an asthmatic person, this is like freedom........although the osteo drug I use supposedly aids asthma drugs in their positive affects on the lungs and immune system......yet acts against the negative, calcium leeching effects.

Today I am thankful for all this!!!