Is this weird? Cause I'm scared :\

**gYmgIrL** · July 1st, 2009, 08:01 PM

So, you know how I was using a trainer man? well... can i see what you think?

So anyway, first of all he trained me and said I was doing awesomely and looking awesome and he was really proud to be my trainer... strange, but sweet right?

anyway, later on he sent me a message that said "nice piercings" (cause I have my nipples peirced) and I asked how he found out thinking a lady in the changeroom told him or something and he told me I let one slip!

#1 embarrasing!!!

#2 isnt it a bit unprofessional??

after that he told me he'd look at me more if I could... and asked if I had any more peircings :\

So anyway, after that I did try to hide at the gym a little (and wore a thousand tops) and he told me I was getting too slack in my workout. When I saw him today I was shaking doing legs and he told me that was appalling (but I always shake on legs?), doesnt everyone? I'm not that strong in them! And he said I can redeem myself next week and that's my last chance. He also said he'll need me to strip to a binkini /underwear to do a fat percentage (really? everyone else has been able to do it while I was fully clothed?) and yeah

so now I dont know what to do

am i seeing warning signs or is that stuff all ok to say? I dont feel very comfortable, in fact, I dont like him very much anymore! I really cant push myself any harder than I am, I'm always red faced and out of breath and I dont have a rest unless the machines I want are taking and I have to find another one.

I dont know, I really want to compete, and I really hate confrontations. Is it ok to tell this guy to get lost or will that just be me admitting that I cant train hard enough to compete?

Help!!!!

**tooncesthecat** · July 1st, 2009, 08:11 PM

#1...ditch him! He is unprofessional. Even if he is interested in dating you, he still has a professional responsibility to do his job. If I were a trainer and interested in a client, I would NOT mix business and personal affairs. And the manner in which he spoke to you was rude and disrespectful....period.
#2...you should ignore his recent comments about your workouts. He has made his motives clear and is now just pissed that you didn't accept his advances. His sudden change in critiquing your workouts is his shitty way of dealing with rejection.
#3...get a new trainer. I know it will be uncomfortable seeing this jerk in the gym, especially with a new trainer, but I don't want you to back down from this contest because of him. Screw him! Get someone who sticks to the job of training you and not insulting you!

**A1food4U** · July 1st, 2009, 08:33 PM

Agree with Toonces, This guy isn't the only trainer out there and this one has certainly crossed several lines where proffessionalism is concerned.

He may be a great trainer and motivator but his style is making you uncomfortable, (mentally)
Your results will almost certainly be better with someone where the respect is mutual, the goal is clear and getting there isn't a game of mental volleyball... Just sayin

**Option1** · July 1st, 2009, 08:36 PM

This guy goes beyond unprofessional and heads into the area of creepy. Agree with Toonces.

Neil

**wil** · July 1st, 2009, 09:07 PM

Yeah... Toonces is right on the money with all of his points. I'll add my vote to the "ditch this sleezeball" column.

I think we need to gather up an EF posse and go over there. You mess with GG and you mess with all of us. Scumbag!

OK... I'm feeling muuuuch better now.

**tooncesthecat** · July 1st, 2009, 09:37 PM

EF thug gang...Wil, A1, me...who else is in? Booking a group flight to Perth!

**lizzyb** · July 1st, 2009, 10:34 PM

Sorry to hear this.....Geeg, you're gonna need to to buck up with this one and BE confrontational.....don't let a sleazebag like this guy have the power to make you feel creepy and run away cowering in a corner over him......Fire the knob, and rehire a proffessional trainer...be the bigger person and do so with confidence....no man, no how has the right to make any lady feel like that! Especially and even moreso in a professional setting.......you're paying him for ....what?!? Not THAT, obviously!!

yeah toonces.....let's go kick this guy's ass!!

(sorry I hate hearing stories of guys like that....been there done that a few times in my lifetime and well, not many got away with it either, lol!! Certainly not with their egos intact either

)

**bouncer** · July 2nd, 2009, 02:30 AM

Time to BAIL!!!!

**ItalianStallion** · July 2nd, 2009, 03:30 AM

ok so this is how i c it...he saw sumtin inappro pro n instead of sayin um excuse me ur poppin out, he did it wit a txt msg to not make situation weirder, maybe he tought u saw him see it n he got mixed messages...
newayz, he def did seem to make a move by flirting in which case he crossed the line of client....now it seems as if he is mad/upset that u didnt go with it, so hes bein negative/not workin hard enough...
my advice would just to txt him or call him when u kno he wont pick up to leave a message n tell him u appreciate his help but u r gonna switch trainers or make up excuse..this way u avoid confrontation..he'l prob be upset n try to keep u as client because well ur U n he doesnt wanna lose u...but just hold ur ground n say NO...time to move on, or switch stuff up
lastly,id be part of that lil gang to go knock sum sense into this guy...
also lastly lastly, u have ur nipples pierced? umm thats pretty shweet, but how come we couldnt tell in ne of ur pics? is it new or u just hide it well? secondly how did u pop out...what do u wear to these workouts? ok but seriously lastly lastly can we get sum pics? u kno as proof...? i mean pics of ur trainer that is to c what were gettin ourselves into

**raijin1** · July 2nd, 2009, 06:14 AM

GG, as a professional trainer myself let me comment on this... Sounds like he stepped out of line a bit in his comments, escpecially if they made you uncomfortable. I will not jump on the bandwagon with everyone else here, however, who wants to 'go kick his ass'. I would go so far as to say he made the comments he did because he is intimidated by you.

I have trained many beautiful women over the years, and sometimes yes it is tough to check your libido at the door. I will say that if you have nipple piercings, it is pretty obvious when you wear any kind of tight/gym top. Guys tend to notice that stuff. Also, female clients can be REALLY flirtatious, and given your outspoken personality, maybe he misread some signals from you.

So don't hate they guy, just go find another trainer that you are comfortable with. Use whatever excuse you like to ditch him (the money excuse is what I get all the time)... Get a female trainer if you like, then you don't have to worry about stuff like this. And if all else fails, contact me... I am pretty sure I can set you on some routines that will rock your world!

**joey9** · July 2nd, 2009, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raijin1

I have trained many beautiful women over the years, and sometimes yes it is tough to check your libido at the door. I will say that if you have nipple piercings, it is pretty obvious when you wear any kind of tight/gym top. Guys tend to notice that stuff. Also, female clients can be REALLY flirtatious, and given your outspoken personality, maybe he misread some signals from you.

I'd say try to find a female trainer. Or a gay male trainer.

Personally, I can see how it could be difficult to work one-on-one with beautiful women week after week, who are somewhat scantily clad, grunting and moaning, while I tell them to change from one position to another. Particularly if I was single.

Sometimes we laugh at cultures where the men and women work separately, or where girls and boys go to separate schools, but at least they avoid this kind of distraction.

At this point your relationship with your trainer is ruined it seems, so the sooner you can find a new one the better.

**sucher67** · July 2nd, 2009, 10:06 AM

Even IF the trainer meant no harm, life is too short... GG-- if you feel uncomfortable, then find a new trainer. There are too many good trainers out there, and you do not owe anything to this guy other than payment for services as agreed.

It really is just that simple. Walk away and leave any worries behind.

**justaguy87337** · July 2nd, 2009, 12:12 PM

Sorry to hear about this GG, seems you girls can never just get what you want. A decent workout trainer on a professional level. I would say get a new trainer and when you hire him make sure that he knows that you are serious and have no intrest in flirting or dating, at least then he will know the boundries. I'm pierced too GG and get strange looks at the gym as well from them,(tank tops don't hide them very well). Good Luck

**Italianangel** · July 2nd, 2009, 12:46 PM

I am not the most uptight or suit wearing stiff trainer but......this is a bit much.
I tell my clients 'on your back bitch' hahahahah, they tell me to fuck off, hahahaha, call me osama bin linda.......I tell them more reps horse, work......but its all in good fun, within boundaries of each person.......this .......I dunno.....i would never say appaling......I have agreed when a client admits a lift is pathetic cuz its an off day and I may agree or say, or your form is off your tired but appaling???????? and the rest of it is a bit boundary crossing....it all depends on how much you let him cross them, outline those boundaries well.......you don't have to say 'these are my boundaries' but can do it in a less direct manner.......or try a new one, it won't hurt, you may like the new one better.
wish I was near by, I would love to see you work!

**mooshue** · July 2nd, 2009, 02:24 PM

now wait a second, is this man still your trainer or a former trainer? If former, he is doing nothing wrong other than being a man and trying to get with a hot chick.
If still the trainer, you got to tell him its professional relationship and nothing more.

**wil** · July 2nd, 2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mooshue

now wait a second, is this man still your trainer or a former trainer? If former, he is doing nothing wrong other than being a man and trying to get with a hot chick.
If still the trainer, you got to tell him its professional relationship and nothing more.

The way I understand it, this guy is her CURRENT trainer helping prepare her for her upcoming contest.

**raijin1** · July 2nd, 2009, 02:42 PM

More on this... and I think I commented in a thread a couple years ago about this, but I think a great trainers primary ability should be to adapt to each and every client. Some want to be called a bitch and yelled at because that is what motivates them. Others just need a gentle shove, and if you push too hard you lose them.

Remember that in personal training, it is.. well.. personal. As a trainer you are in the clients personal space, not just physically but after a while also mentally. Have I flirted with clients? Have I made off color jokes to them? Certainly. But only after I had an established relationship with them. My first few weeks with a new client, I am 100 percent business, until I get to know their personality.

So again, I don't think this guy did any 'wrong', maybe he just got too 'familiar' with you too quick. But ultimately you are the paying customer, and WHAT YOU SAY GOES. If he makes you uncomfortable, then ditch him and find another. It may take several trys to find the trainer that is specifically the right fit for you as an individual...

**tidalwave** · July 2nd, 2009, 03:57 PM

What A1 said.. if you feel uncomfortable and don't want to confront to stop his advances, then it's time to get a new trainer. Switching trainers would be just a momentary hiccup, but continuing if you're uncomfortable could have longer consequences.

**wildstang** · July 3rd, 2009, 01:30 AM

keep your head up and go 4 your dreams girl dont let no 1 keep u from them. any good trainer should be able 2 get u psyched 2 pull that little extra out of yourself when you think u dont have it in you. least thats what i think and have done with who trains with me. i make them believe they can do it and they do do it. course im not a trainer but ive been doing this grind 4 20 plus years and have privately trained a few persons without belittling them. a person goes much further in life with a little encouragment not belittlement.
with the exception of bootcamp....lol the belittlement still serves a purpose there.