Weird...weird...weird

**PLover007** · January 25th, 2006, 04:02 AM

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. (*)

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

How did those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

(*) One of my best friends is not OK !!!!!

**mavgrad99** · January 25th, 2006, 04:09 AM

why do they call it a blow job when all you do is suck on it?

if a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

why do they call it "fast" food when all you do is wait in line in the drive thru?

If a cat chokes on a mouse and dies, who killed who?

and my number one food for thought... how many times does a "dont walk" sign have to blink before you know not to walk?

**Maveaider** · January 25th, 2006, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PLover007

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Great question. I'd love to hear a scientific explanation for that one.

Why are hen eggs not spherical?

**PLover007** · January 25th, 2006, 04:27 AM

I think that the cat killed the mouse as usual because normally the mouse would be dead b4 the cat.

**mavgrad99** · January 25th, 2006, 04:29 AM

I gotta get the opinion from the Gman himself on that one, being as he is a cat person... I always believed in the "death by association" concept, you know, if you choke and die on a burger you aren't actually killed by the cow.

**Ripped Fetish** · January 25th, 2006, 05:26 AM

Blow Job: n

an act of fellatio. This term, now widespread in English-Speaking countries, spread from the USA in the 1960s. A puzzling misnomer to many, to blow in this context is probably a euphemism for ejaculate, a usage occasionally recorded in the 1950s. This may itself be influenced by the there (s)he blows of whaling cliché . An alternative and equally plausible derivation of blow job is from the black jazz musicians' hip talk expression blow meaning play (an instrument). This term probably caught on in Britain and Australia simply because there was no well-known alternative in existence.

The Dictionary of Contemporary Slang

j_hippy · January 25th, 2006, 06:32 AM

If vegetarians only eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

**PLover007** · January 25th, 2006, 07:12 AM

If you try to fail and you succeed, which have you done ???????

**TNT1** · January 25th, 2006, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maveaider

Why are hen eggs not spherical?

Egg shape is hereditary, so hens from the same family will lay similarly-shaped eggs. They can range from nearly round (ping pong balls) to long and thin (we call these torpedoes). There are also lumpy or wrinkled shapes that are a little more unusual, and typically come from very young hens who are still mastering their technique, or old hens who are losing their finesse.
The shape of an egg is approximately an oblate ellipsoid.

If eggs were rectangular, they would be weak in the middle of the side walls, as well as being very uncomfortable to lay. The strongest shape of all is a ball, or sphere. But if eggs were spherical, they would just roll away downhill, never to be seen again. So one reason that eggs are the shape that they are is that they'll roll in a circle around the pointed end. and come to a stop with the pointed end facing uphill. In fact, the eggs of birds that have their nests on cliffs are more oval and less spherical than the eggs of birds that nest on the ground. So the very-oval eggs of these cliff-nesting birds will roll in a tight little circle, and be less likely to roll out of the nest.

Another advantage of egg-shaped eggs is that they fit together quite snugly in the nest, with only quite small air spaces between them. So the eggs radiate their heat onto each other, and keep each other warm, and also, you can fit more eggs into the nest.

But the real reason that eggs are egg-shaped, is so they can fit exactly into egg cartons and those cute little egg holders at the top of the fridge!

Does that answer the question? Probably not, but it was fun!!

**reallyibelieveu** · January 25th, 2006, 08:43 AM

Damn Mave talk about having a little "egg on your face" for asking that question...geez LOL

**Maveaider** · January 25th, 2006, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plover007

If you try to fail and you succeed, which have you done ???????

You have succeeded at failing and both failed and succeeded at succeeding, naturally.

**Maveaider** · January 25th, 2006, 09:53 AM

PS if eggs were spherical they'd actually take up less room and they would fit even more snugly into egg boxes. The same goes for the egg holders in your standard fridge.

Conclusion: eggs should be spherical. I'm going to draw up a petition.

**beukies** · January 25th, 2006, 10:17 AM

Sheesh!!! You guys are really full of it!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!

**irish1416** · January 25th, 2006, 01:30 PM

Why the devil do we store all of our useless junk in the garage, while we park 30- or 40-thousand dollar cars in the street?

**Ripped Fetish** · January 25th, 2006, 02:46 PM

it's strange that the phrase pair of pants is the only way to refer to one
such item, since the word pants is always plural.

**longhornfan** · January 25th, 2006, 03:04 PM

Why do we park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway?

If a pair of socks consists of two socks, why is a pair of jeans only one?

**ecrd** · January 25th, 2006, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irish1416

Why the devil do we store all of our useless junk in the garage, while we park 30- or 40-thousand dollar cars in the street?

I have ALWAYS wondered that! I have a neighbor that has two cars worth (combined) over $100k sitting in his drive. His garage is filled with a bunch of cr*p!!!

Why, when two planes nearly collide, is it called a "near miss"? What is a "near miss"? Isn't it a hit???