My Granny has always wanted an empathic potty canary, and I'm gonna make her toiletry yuletide dream come true:
US Patent # 6966840
"When gases from a bowel movement are detected, audible statements are transmitted and synchronized movements are effected in the automated character."
I'm getting the sisters each a pair of these...it's like the tri-fecta of polyester pants, interchangeable, extruded, wonderous magical work wear. They will thank me for Monday through Friday convenience and style.
US Patent # 6161223
"Each leg is selected from a set of various styles to flexibly create a custom mixed or matched style for a given wearing of the pants".
I'm saving this gem for myself...stop mo is a joy but I'm going for pixilated pleasure this time around.
US Patent # 5830035
Toe puppet
"...mounted on a single human digit for providing animated motion of a figurine"
Whose great grandpa's Studebacker wouldn't be complete without one of these? Great grandad rerouted the refuse and it proved to be gold grade motor oil. He's a slap, er, spit-happy camper.
US Patent # 4989275
Flushable Vehicle Spittoon
"Structure is provided for removably mounting the receptacle in stationary position within a motor vehicle and the outlet end of the drain tube is routed through the vehicle body.."
Ahhhh, and here's Mom's secret Santa gift, designer wear....I got it in Paris...an Eifel original.
US Patent #4858627
Smoker's Hat
"A portable hat... [includes] a filtration, purification and deionization system for removal of combustion products... and an exhaust system for expelling the filtered deodorized, deionized and optionally scented air from the hat".
Dad lost his voice last year, and could never show his appreciation for a well prepared meal except through flatulence...he will now be well appointed in manners.
US Patent # 05536196
Drinking Vessel with Sound Effects
...preferably a beer mug, includes a sound- generating circuit in the base of the mug which produces a "burping" sound effect"
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and when in doubt for gift ideas....you cannot go wrong with a disc umbrella which not only shades and protects from inclimate weather, but brews a nice, warm cup of hot chocolate, then recycles the styrofoam into a tree ornament.
I Do All My Xmas Shopping At The Us Patent Office
