Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

**wil** · April 28th, 2009, 04:16 PM

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the Knife and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

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THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

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Democrat's Answer

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus..

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Republican's Answer:

BANG!

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Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist

katz7479 · April 28th, 2009, 10:12 PM

Libertarian answer

I already shot him

**D-boi** · April 28th, 2009, 10:18 PM

I'm an expert shot, with a .45 acp? I go for the legs. Bang bang. DEMOCRATS FTW

**A1food4U** · April 29th, 2009, 06:49 AM

Green Party Answer....

after making sure he's not on the protected list I shoot him using lead free bullets with bio-degradable casings.

inthecircle · April 29th, 2009, 10:22 AM

A Dimocrat would not be carrying any kind of weapon to start with.....

**SAINT_X** · April 29th, 2009, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inthecircle

A Dimocrat would not be carrying any kind of weapon to start with.....

Oh really?

Yeah, you just go with that... lets just hope, for the sake of your little fantasy, that if the lasting affects of Republican economic policies turn you or someone you care about to crime that they never try to mug me. I can guarantee you that there is no chance you've fired off more rounds in your lifetime than I have...no chance.

BTW...lets say that, you did shoot the guy, and he was only trying to ask you for a light...do you hope the appeals court judge is a republican or a democrat?

Dangit....I got carried away. Sorry...taking myself too seriously today.

But still....

inthecircle · April 29th, 2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAINT_X

Oh really?

Yeah, you just go with that... lets just hope, for the sake of your little fantasy, that if the lasting affects of Republican economic policies turn you or someone you care about to crime that they never try to mug me. I can guarantee you that there is no chance you've fired off more rounds in your lifetime than I have...no chance.

BTW...lets say that, you did shoot the guy, and he was only trying to ask you for a light...do you hope the appeals court judge is a republican or a democrat?

Dangit....I got carried away. Sorry...taking myself too seriously today.

But still....

joke noun, verb, joked, jok⋅ing.
–noun
1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.
2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.
3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.
4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.

**JimmymonFreddy** · April 29th, 2009, 03:10 PM

I seriously don't think he would kill anyone, maybe he's just a butcher and his arm got a cramp and he couldn't put the knife away and he was just asking where the massage parlor was

other wise, I would hit him over the head with my fishing pole

redemopublicrat redneck answer

**SAINT_X** · April 29th, 2009, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inthecircle

joke noun, verb, joked, jok⋅ing.
–noun
1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.
2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.
3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.
4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.

Yeah,yeah,yeah....crazy comedians of COMEDY!

Funny how the jokes around here always seem to be at the expense of the
DIMocrats. HA...

Did I tell ya'll the one about Karl Rove, GW Bush, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly???

( ok... all that being said, DAMMIT I have to admit I did laugh at that ... )

**helpmespock** · April 30th, 2009, 08:09 AM

I wouldn't waste my time with a kimber 1911

I'd give him one right between the eyes with my sig 40 s and w which is concealed under my shirt as I type, its generally more accurate then a 45 and a lot less likely to nail any non target behind the terrorist then a 45.

**pliny_2001** · April 30th, 2009, 10:11 AM

Zed: May I ask why you felt little Tiffany deserved to die?
James Edwards: Well, she was the only one that actually seemed dangerous at the time, sir.
Zed: How'd you come to that conclusion?
James Edwards: Well, first I was gonna pop this guy hanging from the street light, and I realized, y'know, he's just working out. I mean, how would I feel if somebody come runnin' in the gym and bust me in my ass while I'm on the treadmill? Then I saw this snarling beast guy, and I noticed he had a tissue in his hand, and I'm realizing, y'know, he's not snarling, he's sneezing. Y'know, ain't no real threat there. Then I saw little Tiffany. I'm thinking, y'know, eight-year-old white girl, middle of the ghetto, bunch of monsters, this time of night with quantum physics books? She about to start some shit, Zed. She's about eight years old, those books are WAY too advanced for her. If you ask me, I'd say she's up to something. And to be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it.
[pause]
James Edwards: Or do I owe her an apology?
[pauses again]
James Edwards: That's a good shot though...

And FWIW, I've never met a conservative who - when charged with a crime - didn't want a liberal judge.