5 Ridiculous Fashion Rules
by Daniel Quinlan
When it comes to fashion, everyone has their own set of rules. But some of these rules have got to go.
As in any discipline, it is tempting to go about one's business by pointing out what's wrong with the establishment. Rather than being constructive, the tendency is to be critical about what we observe. This sorry state is nowhere more visible than in the hard-boiled world of fashion. A critical approach is reliable because articles based on the "things-to-avoid" ethic practically write themselves.
What is challenging, though, is to redeem aspects of style that have been discarded by popular opinion, spurned on by fashion gurus that, for no apparent reason, are considered bastions of good taste. Well, folks, I've never been one to dignify trendsetters, or adhere to the sweeping generalizations that make them authorities - and get their books published. I've also never shied away from honoring alternatives.
That being said, let's examine a few of the faux-pas that characterize fashion-writing for men in our time and the elite few that follow them.
The Proper Way To Tie Shoe Laces
We must begin with the most ridiculous and unprecedented of fashion "rules" in order to set the pace for this article. Every one of us knows someone who, at one time or another, has insisted that to cross-lace their shoes is the equivalent of branding an X in the space between their eyes. These same people will insist that the only proper way of lacing is to proceed horizontally, leaving an equidistant space between "bridges".
Now, surely someone will stand up and say that this only applies to a nice pair of shoes - those meant to give a stylish foundation to a fine suit, and that cross lacing is perfectly fine for boots, runners, etc. The fact remains, however, that horizontally lacing one's shoes looks so completely alien - so ludicrously ugly - that it's a shame such a rule has been entrenched in the almanac of men's fashion.
The fact is, cross-lacing is as good as tradition and any attempt to sway man away from it is an example of the lengths that the "stylish-someone" will go to in order to deny whatever is common.
To Button or not to Button
There have been many lives and reputations lost at the behest of the age-old debate over which buttons to fasten and which ones to leave undone. In the face of such a two-faced precedent, it is no wonder that so many men are confused, left reeling at the earth-shattering prospect of leaving the wrong button open.
Do you leave your bottom button undone or is it the top that should be ignored?
The fact is there is no right or wrong way to broach this debate. Unless you're wearing a tie, an opened collar can be flattering, particularly if one is seeking to compliment a well-chiseled chest (as in my own case, for instance). The top button can also be overlooked when an under-shirt is tossed into the mix.
On the other hand, ignoring the bottom button is not going to make or break your wardrobe, especially if you're planning on tucking in the shirt. Here is yet another example of a fashion "rule" that is so contradictory and problematic that it's laughable from a style-perspective.
The Iron: Man's Best Friend
In researching for this article, I felt it necessary to actually know what the established fashion rules were before I set out to analyze them. Believe it or not, the most common tip that I hit upon was that shirts should always be ironed in order to maintain a crisp consistency and a smooth appearance.
Anyone with half an eye for style should realize that this goes without saying. I wanted to point out the popularity of this "rule" in order to show the generally dismal idea that many fashion writers have of their projected audience. Moving on...
The Bizarre Courtship of Mr. Belt and Mrs. Shoes
Can someone please tell me when and why it became necessary to wear belts and shoes of a matching color? These aspects of wardrobe seem so wholly independent that it is difficult to believe that mismatching tones are going to offset an entire outfit, unless, of course, you're showing off that brand new Armani suit.
From another perspective, a contrast in color would seem to add character to any motif, so long as they aren't of a radically opposite nature (e.g., black and red or a contrast equally as garish).
From now on, don't fret if all you have to go on is a black belt and brown shoes. This is not a viable cause for the headaches that it so often induces. Let the pundits be damned!
The Beer Advertisement T-Shirt
This is a touchy issue to many men. How many times have you given (or received) awkward glances on account of a ratty old Budweiser t-shirt, especially spacious in the underarm area?
Now, I'll admit, for the most part this is a fine rule to live by and most beer shirts should be avoided like influenza. However, there will always be exceptions. For instance, I have an immaculate t-shirt bearing the mark of Carlsberg - it is, quite simply, a classic, with each letter spelt out in the flag of a nation. I love this shirt and I'm not ashamed to show it off. And nor should you if you happen to be the owner of a similar treasure.
Sometimes a little shamelessness can go a long way in establishing yourself in opposition to these ridiculous rules of style, and, boys, take it from me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
throw the rules out the window
When broaching the complex issue of men's fashion, the supposed rules and guidelines are often just hurdles and hoops that false authorities want us to jump through. I think it's most important to remember that rules, like records, exist to be broken.
Frank Zappa, himself a fashion icon, once said: Progress is not possible without deviation. This can apply to anything from art to politics, and yes, to fashion.
Don't stifle yourself trying to fit the mould - be imaginative! Be bold! Be impulsive! And while you're relaxing on the porch in that loose t-shirt and torn jeans, the fashion pundits, vanguards of vanity, will be busy giving themselves panic attacks as they try to find a mirror.
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