It's Time for a Change

[dvickers79]

I have been a lurker here for quite a long time. I have decided that it is time for a lifestyle change. If you all don't mind, I would like to chronicle some events of the past few years, and try to get some advice from everyone.

I am 28 years old, married for 8 years to a wonderful wife who is also overweight, and have twin boys who will be 7 next month.

I work in the IT field, so alot of my time is spent behind a desk, snacking. I started gaining weight not long after I met my wife, and went from 145 lbs. to 230 lbs.

About 4 years ago, I began experiencing heart palpitations fairly regularly. I was downing about 6-8 20 oz. Mountain Dews per day, and smoking an average of a pack per day.

I have slight breathing problems which worsen with physical activity. It almost seems as if when I start warming up, I hyperventilate. This isn't necessarily related to weight loss, as I figure that these problems will heal on their own after I stop smoking.

About a month ago, I experienced what I was convinced was a heart attack. It turned out to be severe palpitations, and what the doc said may be the beginning stages of mitral valve prolapse.

I am determined that I must make a total lifestyle change for myself, my wife, and my children. I have been tempted to go so far as to take a more physically demanding job. My number one issue, as I'm sure is the issue with most, is motivation. It is definately a hard thing to do, but I am getting there. I have been caffeine free since the incident a month ago, and plan to stay that way. I have also tapered down my smoking to the point that I am ready and able to quit. Smoking is more of a habit, and less of a must-have with me.

My questions are many, and here they come. Remember, any help, advice, stories of your success will help me stay motivated.

My main hurdles are that:

1) I'm not in the greatest financial shape right now.
2) I haven't exercised in over 5 years.
3) My diet is horrible.

What I'm wanting to accomplish:

1) Get my body back to where I want it to be. (lose 80 lbs+)
2) Have the energy to actually go outside and play with my kids, go hiking, etc.
3) Extend my years to be around for my children.

If you can recommend a good nutritional plan, or even where to find one or piece one together, I would be most grateful. Also, I am looking at a gym membership for the whole family, but with wanting to lose weight, and currently having breathing problems, I'm not exactly sure where to start. I am 28, and haven't lifted weights or exercised strenuously since I was 17.

Also, with my current financial situation, would you think it okay to start a cheaper multivitamin, such as MegaMen from GNC, and Fish Oil Caplets? I could transition to a better MV later on down the road.

Thanks again everyone, and it's great to be free from my mental blockages of failure, because I can't fail, not an option

[JoeBAR]

You need to cut down the junk food, that's number one. You won;t believe the amount of money you gonna save! (good for financial situation)

Dieting is cheap, a lot chaper than bulking up, so no worries there. Eat a balanced diet, and don't go nuts, take it one step at a time so you don't tire of it too quickly.

Exercise: you don't need a gym yet, you don't even need to run or cycle. If you are as unhealthy as you describe, WALK! Don't worry too much about weight lifting and stuff, just walk. As fast as you currently can, 1 hour EVERY day. If you drive to work, take the bus instead and on your way back, stop 2 stops short and walk the rest, EASY! then 3 stops etc ... Take the kids for a stroll, take the wife, get a dog! Anything that will motivate you to walk 1 hour a day, fast paced, and constantly.

Food: Well, I'm sure you already know what's wrong So fix it. Eat regularly, at set time, no junk food. Make sandwiches with wholegrain bread and chicken, or tuna, and lettuce, tomatoes, bit of mayo (low fat) cheese (low fat) etc... HAVE a breakfast before you leave the house. If you don;t work early, go walk when you get up before breakfast. Eat oatmeal, or eggs and sausages (chicken sausages, grilled, low fat). Have plenty veg for diner, with some sort of meat, again, low fat. Avoid: chips, fastfood burgers, pizza, soda, alcohol.

I wouldn't recommand you try to loose more than 2lbs/week, so you're in for a long ride. Don;t worry about teh first 2 weeks though, you might easily drop 4~5lbs then it'll slow down.

Oh, and drink water, at least 2l a day, a gallon better. No bubbles, no flavour, no juice. WATER. Off the tap if it's drinkable where you live. See, DIETING IS CHEAP! I don't run an internet supplements business, so I don;t need to recommand any shit you really don't need. GNC MV's and Fish Oil will do fine.

In a month or so, depending how things go, start jogging a bit in your walk, alternate 5min jog, 5 min walk ... Depending how you feel and whether you hyperventilate still. Try a few body weight exercise, like push ups ... And if there's a park, try a pull-up. If you can't do a pull up, find a low bar and do reverse body row:

--------- < bar
o--|---< < you : grab the bar, and pull your chest up to it, feet still on the floor.

And you can do body weight squats, squats with a backpack loaded with whatever comes in handy. You can really exrcise for fuck all, and the diet will save you plenty bucks for X-mas!

[JarheadRI]

Now this is a big if... Can you quit your job and find another one? The reason I ask that is because if you can find a job that either is physically challenging OR even better find a job with a company that has a gym ONSITE!

I am in IT as well and while I didn't get to the point you are at I was pretty bad for me. I got a job with a gym and have been pretty much going 4x a week since I started. Best thing that ever happened to me. Probably in the best shape of my life even though I was in the Marine Corps for 4.5 years.

The other thing is, and you already know this, is that it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE! Forget diets, for get workout 'routines', forget all of that! The reason I say forget it is because it isn't something you just do ONE TIME! You have to do that everyday! Give up crap food, give up NOT exercising, you can't just do it for a few weeks, lose say 20 pounds and then go back. You have to do it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! Now if you can't commit to that then forget it! Tough to hear but that is it.

I saw my dad pass away about a year and a half ago and I think with some minor changes he could have lived a bit longer.

You sound like you are ready and coming here is a big step. This site has been a HUGE source of motivation for me and I am sure others. The other thing is YOU have to contribute here as well. That helps. Look through the nutrion sections and the workout sections and take about a day to REALLY go through them. It ain't gonna be easy my friend but you certainly can do it. Good luck!

[mooshue]

Im an it professional, i was exactly as you described minus the heart attack. The beauty of the IT field is it is normally very relaxed. What i mean is there are days when no one needs you for anything. I take an hour or 2 every day to go to the gym for lunch. Everyone here knows it as they have seen my drastic changes over the years, but even though they know they dont fuck with me about taking longer lunches than everyone else, instead they ask questions on how to do things or how i accomplished a certain thing, or what food is good for what. I think IT is the perfect profession. You typically are locked up in a server room. I do crunches and push ups, forearm grips, etc.. in my office all the time.

Dump the soda and crap foods/condiments/salt/etc.. out of the house completely. Its easier if everyone makes the change. Drink water instead, it will suck at first but eventually you wont like anything else. Stop smoking immediately. I went to one of those cold laser therapy places where its supposed to be like accupuncture. You basically walk out of there not wanting a cig again. Ive smoked once or twice since then and it almost makes me sick. Been nearly 3 years now. Cardio/cardio/cardio and more cardio. Start out small, long light pace walks, build up to medium pace walks, then eventually try to start jogging and running for as long as you can.


You cant possibly learn eveything you need to know in order to reach your goals. People who do this stuff for a living learn new discoveries every day. Keep reading articles, studies, advice. Try things that are new, see if they work for you.
Remember that everything will not necessarily affect you the same way it affects someone else.

Get your diet under control first. Until then you will just be spinning your wheels.

[JarheadRI]

Originally Posted by mooshue

Im an it professional, i was exactly as you described minus the heart attack. The beauty of the IT field is it is normally very relaxed. What i mean is there are days when no one needs you for anything

Um I would disagree with you there. It REALLY depends on what you do and where you work. I have worked in IT shops where it is just nuts all the time and there is constant pressure.

Everything else was good advice though!

[mooshue]

Originally Posted by JarheadRI

Um I would disagree with you there. It REALLY depends on what you do and where you work. I have worked in IT shops where it is just nuts all the time and there is constant pressure.

Everything else was good advice though!

I guess thats true. I consider true IT either with a large company either running the dept or supporting users. The rest is just gruntwork like a technician repair crappy hp's or whatever it is that best buy or compusa are pushing to people now a days and have to whip out so many an hour or be canned. I am the manager and have decided that i am the only person they need Id rather just do it all and do it right than have to baby sit someone else.

[bouncer]

A salesman was visiting a farmer one day and he noticed an old dog sitting by the fence and it was yelping and whining. "What's the matter with your dog?" asked the salesman. "Oh, he's just sitting on a nail." said the farmer. Why doesn't he move?" asked the salesman. The farmer replied, "It just doesn't hurt bad enough yet."

I shared that story with a good friend who was over 200 pounds overweight and was developing the same problems you describe and more. He enrolled at the gym I worked out in before I moved and started at a different gym. I lost track of him for a while, but before I did, I started him off on a routine and then gave him some more routines to use as he progressed.

24 months later, I stopped for a cold one, and a long haired guy sat on the empty bar stool next to me. Then my old friends voice came out of this guy. I didn't even recognize him. He dropped over 200 pounds, and looked fantastic! Amazingly enough, all the health issues were gone too.

So...if it hurts bad enough to really make a change, get some good diet info and start working out. So many people smoke, over eat and over caffeinate, because they feel like crap and they have low energy. There is the constant craving for a stimulant in the form of nicotine, carbs/sugars, and other detrimental substances as well.

You will need to clean up what you put into your body. You will also need to find a good nutritional program that will provide the energy you crave. (How many Mountain Dews?)
Along with that, you need a good exercise program that combines both aerobic activity (consult the Doc) and weight training.

There is alot of good advice to be found on this board. Take advantage of it. You can PM many of us as well for help and "under the radar advice."

[Insex]

Welcome to EF, dvickers79.

I recommend you read this entire post first. It will help you get an idea of what you need to do and what your mentality should be like. You can read it here:

Fast Results Fat Loss Diet ~not for the weak of heart!

Keep in mind, you're not gearing up for a bodybuilding competition, so take it slow at first. The advice the others have posted above is good to follow. Before beginning any exercise or diet regimen, consult your doctor first. Start off with a lot of walking, don't even consider weights at the moment. You could worsen your heart condition if you get into weightlifting too soon. But once you improve your condition and stamina, then weightlifting would be an excellent option. The same goes for switching jobs. If you are going to change job professions, don't immediately do something like construction. You might worsen your condition. Take is slow, this is going to be a long journey, not a 2-week fling.

Also, visit this thread for your smoking habit:

This Thread Kicks Butt!

If you're already near the point of quitting, then quit already. The same goes for drinking or any other bad habits that you may have. Just drop them already. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll see results.

As far as motivation, your family's well-being should be more than enough. How will your wife live the life she already knows without you around? How will your kids grow up and go to college without you around? Will they be raised by you to become mature, young men? Or will they be raised by someone else who will turn them into punks? Think about it, then I think you'll have all the motivation you'll ever need.

And, as the others have stated, you're more than welcome to send any of us a PM (personal message) if you need some extra help.

[Italianangel]

Definately start a walk jog program with your wife, if your kids are heavy then drag them along or try to see if they will join you anyway for support, but if not, get out and do this NOW.
Both of you. Its not hard, it works progressively and it is NOT HARD.
next I want you to both try a set of 10 of pushups against a wall, called wall pushups, try some small bending sumo squats, really watch the form. I want you to then find something which weights 10-20lbs or so and put it into a milk crate. I want you to pick up the milkcrate - deadlift style, knees soft...........lift it to your middle, then push it up overhead and back down.......repeat that for 10.
Let me know how it goes, try it and tell me how you both felt. Drink a ton of water and if you do read the fat loss post you will need higher amounts of foods and as Insex said, go a bit easier on that as it is extreme and you will get results asap just by the shock of introducing any change.
I expect a report by Tuesday about this and expect both you and the wife to do this.
Linda

[Italianangel]

Here are a few walk jog programs you can test out, then tell me which you tried.
Sample Jog-Walk Programs
Walk Jog Plan

[JarheadRI]

Originally Posted by bouncer

A salesman was visiting a farmer one day and he noticed an old dog sitting by the fence and it was yelping and whining. "What's the matter with your dog?" asked the salesman. "Oh, he's just sitting on a nail." said the farmer. Why doesn't he move?" asked the salesman. The farmer replied, "It just doesn't hurt bad enough yet."

I shared that story with a good friend who was over 200 pounds overweight and was developing the same problems you describe and more. He enrolled at the gym I worked out in before I moved and started at a different gym. I lost track of him for a while, but before I did, I started him off on a routine and then gave him some more routines to use as he progressed.

24 months later, I stopped for a cold one, and a long haired guy sat on the empty bar stool next to me. Then my old friends voice came out of this guy. I didn't even recognize him. He dropped over 200 pounds, and looked fantastic! Amazingly enough, all the health issues were gone too.

So...if it hurts bad enough to really make a change, get some good diet info and start working out. So many people smoke, over eat and over caffeinate, because they feel like crap and they have low energy. There is the constant craving for a stimulant in the form of nicotine, carbs/sugars, and other detrimental substances as well.

You will need to clean up what you put into your body. You will also need to find a good nutritional program that will provide the energy you crave. (How many Mountain Dews?)
Along with that, you need a good exercise program that combines both aerobic activity (consult the Doc) and weight training.

There is alot of good advice to be found on this board. Take advantage of it. You can PM many of us as well for help and "under the radar advice."

This is a great post! Bouncer is a huge inspiration and some of his past stuff has really helped me! Gives great advice about diet! Thanks... and keep the great posts coming!

[jorcaryvan]

Originally Posted by JarheadRI

The other thing is, and you already know this, is that it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE! Forget diets, for get workout 'routines', forget all of that! The reason I say forget it is because it isn't something you just do ONE TIME! You have to do that everyday! Give up crap food, give up NOT exercising, you can't just do it for a few weeks, lose say 20 pounds and then go back. You have to do it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! Now if you can't commit to that then forget it! Tough to hear but that is it.

Great post there Jarhead. So true. And what's with the IT job. Seems the career in bogue (I'd love to work in IT).

[pliny_2001]

It looks like you've tugged at some pretty big heart-strings, dvickers79 - there are some pretty heavy hitters giving you advice in this thread, and it's all good stuff. To it, allow me to add my own . . .

1) Medical. I know, I usually start with diet, but not here. You've got a significant medical history, so you need to make sure that your doctor clears you for light physical activity. Once you've got that OK, feel fine to hit up point 3.

2a) Diet. Here's the thing: it's easy to say that you have alot of bad habits, but it's much more difficult to change your entire lifestyle (even though it does need to be changed). People who make a ton of changes at once almost never manage to maintain them - it's too big a shock. So just start with small changes, and let the effects build on each other - start with quitting soda (see point 4). In a week or two, stop with the salty snacks (chips, pork rinds, whatever), instead replacing them with carrots, or an apple or something. Doughnuts, fried oreos, microwave dinners, whatever - quit them and start a new healthy habit: grilled fish, salad, baked potato with yogurt. In a few months, you'll have created a healthy diet for yourself and your family

2b) Smoking. Just quit. Either stop the "habit" or get the blue light therapy (?) or whatever. No more discussion necessary.

3) Exercise. Don't even try to join a gym at this point. Just start with walking around the neighborhood after dinner. That's it. Do it for a few months (hopefully you don't get snowed in). You'll get your heart and lungs ready to accept some work - only then should you consider going to a gym (when you get to that point, ask for some ideas on good beginning workouts, but there's no need to worry about them now).

4) Water. You'll be drinking a ton. If you don't need to pee constantly, drink more water (I get kind of tired of H2O all the time, so if you understand that tea/iced tea doesn't have any sugar added to it, feel free to have some).

5) Sleep. 8 hours a night. You need it.

Good luck - just go slow, and don't give up!

[JarheadRI]

Originally Posted by jorcaryvan

Great post there Jarhead. So true. And what's with the IT job. Seems the career in bogue (I'd love to work in IT).

Well when I say IT I mean I am a mainframe programmer in corporate envirornment doing financial transactions. I would swear anyone off any kind of IT/Technology work unless you are a hardware/systems/network guy. Maybe some software development, but those guys just get abused! The reason I say this is... ALL THIS WORK IS GOING TO INDIA! By say 2015/2020 there will little or NO type of technology work in this country with the exception of direct support. Those jobs are going the way of the factory worker.

[JarheadRI]

Originally Posted by pliny_2001

2a) Diet. Here's the thing: it's easy to say that you have alot of bad habits, but it's much more difficult to change your entire lifestyle (even though it does need to be changed). People who make a ton of changes at once almost never manage to maintain them - it's too big a shock. So just start with small changes, and let the effects build on each other - start with quitting soda (see point 4). In a week or two, stop with the salty snacks (chips, pork rinds, whatever), instead replacing them with carrots, or an apple or something. Doughnuts, fried oreos, microwave dinners, whatever - quit them and start a new healthy habit: grilled fish, salad, baked potato with yogurt. In a few months, you'll have created a healthy diet for yourself and your family
Good luck - just go slow, and don't give up!

This entire post was good but this was awesome! Start off slow! Just start widdling down the bad habits just like Pliny says. Do the walking, and drink the water. One thing about the tea... don't overdo as tea DOES have some caffeine in it. Try a green tea too. You don't want to subsitute one bad habit with another.

[dvickers79]

Thanks for all of the great advice and support, everyone. I have already made some changes to the foods kept in the house. We threw out most of the junk already and replaced it with fruits and veggies.

We are also going to implement the Walk Jog Plan.

I thank you all for the support, and I will keep you posted. Oh yes, the smoking is ending tonight :-)

[tellico]

I'm also on a fatloss journey, and different things work at different times for me. When you make lifestyle changes, think about their probablity of being maintained before you do something drastic, and modify them until they are long-term achievable. Here are some things that have been beneficial to me.

going cold turkey sweets to fruits/veggies only lasts about 2 days when I try this, but what works well for me is incorporating more cooked veggies (much tastier, I think) in my meals, and snacking on things like an apple or ~1 tbsp roasted no-salt sunflower nuts or 1 handful low sodium trail mix (I like Good Sense Dietary Snack Mix, from Walmart, because I can't eat peanuts and cant stand salty parch-mouth). Eat it piece by piece, not a handful dumped in the mouth.

Limit fruit juices (major culprit for me- OJ, apple juice, grape/cherry juice, and cranberry juice used to be stocked at all times, in addition to all the milk I drink). Instead of morning OJ, have a morning Green Iced Tea (not the diet variety). Then drink water.

Adding fiber- I do this for health, thanks to family health problems. But, I've noticed a drop in weight since adding this change. I do this via whole-grain options when available, adding 1 additional fruit or veggie a day (more than that and I generally quit trying and resort to junk), and Benefiber (tasteless, textureless, odorless, dissolves completely in my evening hot green tea or a glass of juice). No, it doesn't give you diarrhea or cramps or cause dependence or anything like that (which was my hesitation before starting it), in fact I never noticed a difference in that area.

Instead of Little Debbie or, in my case, a Sweet 16 powdered doughnut, do a yogurt with a cruchy additive (yo crunch). This is not a diet food by any stretch, but it is a BETTER sweet option.

Eat breakfast, even if it is just a Clif bar or a Kashi bar.

Park at the back of the parking lot when it is safe to do so.

Stretch in the mornings. It makes you feel so good, makes it seem the clothes fit better, and makes you just want to get up and move around (which is when you feel the benefit of stretching the best). I even stretch in the bathroom stall during the day (only chance for privacy, ha ha). This also gets you ready for when you do start more exercise, as you won't be so tight and injury prone.

Commit to never again doing the 3 stride jog (which is also just annoying). you know, when someone is in a hurry, they run for three or four strides, then walk the rest of the way. If you run, you run the whole way.

Throw out or give away leftovers.

Do birthday cupcakes instead of a cake- you can cook as many as you actually need for the party, and are not stuck with a tempting cake to sit on the counter and get slivered off of every time you pass by. I saw a cool pan in one of the mega stores that made a Thomas train out of cupcakes, as well as several other shapes and things than broke into neat cupcake-sized pieces (I know your kids may be a little old for Thomas, but there were others).

If you are financially able, keep some protein shakes around. When I can afford to keep some around, I have enjoyed having a shake in those evenings when you get home way too late to fix supper, but have a nagging hunger that must be satisfied- lightly- before going to bed.

100 calorie packs are a lifesaver. This is where I get my chocolate fix when needed (this, and Ovaltine). I also think these would be a great kid-snack option- much better than the little debbie snacks that lined the pantry of my parents' home when I was growing up!

The little packaged apples are great, too- very portable, and not a juicy mess when you eat them. You can get them with or without dipping condiment. This to me is as yummy as an alternative junk snack. The caramel is indeed junk, but again, this is a BETTER option, and one I can live with as opposed to completely going to munching on rabbit food.

This will sound strange until you try it, but try learning a new way to eat M&M's: eat them one piece at a time, and let the candy coating dissolve off before you chew and swallow; or, let them literally melt in your mouth. You can get a lot more satisfaction out of just a few M&M's this way! My dad keeps a jar of M&M's on the counter at all times- when I visit, instead of grabbing a handful, I only want 3-4 (by the time you finish eating 3-4 this way, you won't have patience to eat any more!).

The crockpot is your friend. Meat (read- chicken) cooked with just water and a bunch of vegetables, especially carrots (so sweet!), is suddenly as rich and tasty as meat baked in a casserole or with gravy. If you want more flavor, add chicken or vegetable stock or broth rather than salt/fat/bacon.

Add extra virgin olive oil to whatever you can.

Do the Subway minis. They give you every bit as much meat as a 6 inch, but just less bread. Do this with oil and vinegar instead of dressing. Add olives if you want that extra little bite flavor, instead of ranch.

Leave something on your plate every time you eat.

You have kids, you have such a great opportunity to prevent the heartache that we as adults have struggling with weight and eating issues!! Let more healthful eating be the norm with them, and their comfort foods when they get older will be better choices, and food will not be an ISSUE, but just a source of necessary fuel- eating to live, not living to eat I do not have (or plan on having in the near future) children, but I would love the opportunity to make someone's life different from mine in this regard Cherish them!

[JarheadRI]

Excellent START!

REMEMBER!!!! KEEP US POSTED!!!!

[jorcaryvan]

Originally Posted by JarheadRI

Well when I say IT I mean I am a mainframe programmer in corporate envirornment doing financial transactions. I would swear anyone off any kind of IT/Technology work unless you are a hardware/systems/network guy. Maybe some software development, but those guys just get abused! The reason I say this is... ALL THIS WORK IS GOING TO INDIA! By say 2015/2020 there will little or NO type of technology work in this country with the exception of direct support. Those jobs are going the way of the factory worker.

Thankfully I live in Perú!! hehe. I'm kind of hardware/networking/linux guy so no problems there.

Yep I heard about all the outsourcing been done so India is getting tons of jobs that cost less to maintain by american companies. I wonder if Perú could get some of those jobs.

Anyway dvickers go on mate, let your actions do the talking now. Don't forget to come back.

[Jared445]

I just wanted to stop in and offer something that has helped me lose almost 60 pounds since mid-May. Chris Rock said it best: you are only as faithful as your options. Now, while he was referring to men cheating, I think it applies to cheating on your diet too. See, if you don't have healthy food around you both at home and at work, then your commitment to any diet will break, and you'll order a pizza or bug out to the nearest Burger King. That's why I've found great success in making quality meals at home, refrigerating them, and taking them to work so I can microwave them for a nice hot lunch. It's a hell of a lot harder to justify waiting 30 minutes for a pizza when you have a tasty healthy meal in the fridge 10 feet away. It's premade discipline!

Good luck to you and your family!