Purina Diet
Purina Dog Food...from Grandpa
The next time someone asks you a dumb question
wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had,
an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do,
on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting the Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up
in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it
again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a
curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us
both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there
anymore.
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How 'Bout Some Chicken?
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