approaching an unknown female

**theatrain** · September 25th, 2007, 12:06 AM

So of course everyone here knows its easier to get together with a girl if you know them, have been in the same group of friends, or a friend of a friend hooks you up with her or some situation like that, but do any of you have advice for if you just are maybe at the supermarket, park, or some public place you see a beautiful girl passing by. How would you go about grabbing their attentiong and starting a conversation?

I'm not too familiar with this situation, Once or twice I have tried to just smile and say hi if we make eye contact, but anyone else have other tips?

**Carnitas** · September 25th, 2007, 01:34 AM

You could try asking a girl some random question just to strike up a conversation. Or a simple smile works. If she smiles back introduce yourself.

**wildstang** · September 25th, 2007, 08:56 AM

plain and simple......you have to strike up a conversation somehow. once the ice is broken by small talk and she feels comfortable talking with you tell her you enjoyed your little conversation with her and wouldnt mind continueing it sometime if she wouldnt mind over dinner or lunch maybe. it all boils down to confidence and a little intuition and being able to read body language.

**Eva** · September 25th, 2007, 03:32 PM

I love watching the replies form men when people ask about women hehe

I suppose it would be kinda hard if it was the very first time you'd seen her, and maybe thought you weren't ever going to see her again to get the chance to talk to her...otherwise, I'd work up to it, if you see her more than once.

But if it's just random...well, it would be kinda weird to ask a girl out right there on the spot, although some would say ok, you really never know.

I think the best advice is as nike says, "Just do it." What do you have to lose? The worst she can do is give you a funny look and walk away...if she's rude, well then maybe she's not the type of girl you'd like to go out with anyway. Sure, she may be hot, but what about her personaility? You may work hard to be with someone you find is hot, only to discover you just don't get along well...no things in common, or something about her annoys you, etc....

But I think most people appreciate honesty, and would be caught of guard by it...so I"d simply say something like "I know this is goin gto seem really strange, but I just didn't want to leave thinking I might not ever see you again or get the chance to meet you. Something just compelled me to say hello. I was wondering if you'd like to maybe go out for a cup of coffee sometime to get to know eachother?"

Sometimes just being real like that, letting down your guard, admitting what you are doing....can charm a woman

**wil** · September 25th, 2007, 04:36 PM

It also helps if you're a good lookin dude.

I'm not bitter... really...

**Eva** · September 25th, 2007, 10:33 PM

well that is true, but keep in mind, the guy's only going after the girl bc he finds her goodlooking

Ive walked up to guys and had them not even look twice at me....just depends on what people like

**championofnight** · September 25th, 2007, 11:57 PM

I am lauging to myself-speaking of looks- this just happened to me today accept the girl struck up a conversation with me. I ended up getting her number but i had to walk to where she was eating to ask her for it. It was just a casual thing. She is so beautiful, i couldnt pass her up.

To answer your question If you see a beautiful girl yes it helps to be good-looking like me because then they take you seriously and like you more. But for all the other guys, you need to show something awesome about you to get their attention. So, do it.

**mavgrad99** · September 26th, 2007, 11:42 PM

ask the girl if she wants tickets to the gun show... then flex for all its worth!!!

47 · September 27th, 2007, 12:20 AM

Make sure you keep it light. If you are overly nervous or serious, its creepy. Go for it right away, and be willing to walk away, otherwise it'll seem like you are either stalking her, or don't have the guts to talk to her. If you're unwilling to walk away, or give her some space, you will seem needy, or clingy. All that stuff is a turnoff. Be genuine. If it just isnt working out, or one of you isn't feeling it, let it go. Don't try to make it work with lies or an act. Never try and force incompatibility, you'll both end up unhappy. Now of course pay no attention to the last couple things I said if all you want is to get some ass.

**raijin1** · September 27th, 2007, 01:22 AM

If you are extremely good looking, have a shitload of money, and/or are full of yourself, then go for it! Numerous interviews with women will reveal they are attracted to 'confidence' (hint - money, looks, asshole attitude - or some combination - usually translate as 'confidence')...

If you are an 'average' guy though, confidence in yourself just will not do it in this situation. Try to establish yourself a bit with her before, and MAYBE she will give you the time of day.

Either way, keep your cool and don't expect anything from it.

**Eva** · September 27th, 2007, 04:28 AM

awwww you guys have such a negative outlook :p

Ive been single for the last year.....sure, there may be good looking guys around, but how about a nice, honest, funny, smart, athletic guy who likes old hairband rock hehe and who loves his family?

oh, and he likes dogs too

I'd take all that any day over some guy with looks, money, etc....

I'd simply be happy with someone who truly loved me, for me

My heart is tired of being so lonely

plus, I"m getting old lol My biological clock is ticking hahaha

**joker13** · September 27th, 2007, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raijin1

If you are extremely good looking, have a shitload of money, and/or are full of yourself, then go for it! Numerous interviews with women will reveal they are attracted to 'confidence' (hint - money, looks, asshole attitude - or some combination - usually translate as 'confidence')...

If you are an 'average' guy though, confidence in yourself just will not do it in this situation. Try to establish yourself a bit with her before, and MAYBE she will give you the time of day.

Either way, keep your cool and don't expect anything from it.

I disagree respectfully raij. I am ugly as fock by traditional standards. My wife is hot as hell. When i first met her i walked up and told her my name and started talking to her. Make her laugh and give her a good feeling and she at least will give you the time of day. Put your balls out there and see what happens. Happy hunting.

**JoeBAR** · September 27th, 2007, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eva

awwww you guys have such a negative outlook :p

Ive been single for the last year.....sure, there may be good looking guys around, but how about a nice, honest, funny, smart, athletic guy who likes old hairband rock hehe and who loves his family?

oh, and he likes dogs too

I'd take all that any day over some guy with looks, money, etc....

I'd simply be happy with someone who truly loved me, for me

My heart is tired of being so lonely

plus, I"m getting old lol My biological clock is ticking hahaha

PM me anytime, I'll fix that for ya!!!

**wil** · September 27th, 2007, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joker13

Put your balls out there and see what happens.

If after you put your balls out there she puts her yayas out there... well then you're good to go.

**falconfootball** · September 27th, 2007, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wil

If after you put your balls out there she puts her yayas out there... well then you're good to go.

haha.

No point in letting (possibly) your one chance slip away. Just go for it

and take a pic of her yaya's if she doesn't kick your balls

**Eva** · September 27th, 2007, 05:33 PM

lol

yes, you won't know unless you try

**illiniballfan112** · September 27th, 2007, 08:40 PM

You know, you should watch the show on VH1 called "The Pickup Artist". This Mystery guy seems to have striking up conversations with women down to a science. It's rather interesting to hear these guys use actual terms like "Sets", "Value", and "Roll-Off" to describe situations that occur at clubs or on the street like they're fucking lab rats.

While I doubt that guys like this rarely find "true love", I don't doubt after watching the show a couple times that their methods work for getting to TALK to most girls. Body Language, approach, what you say all play into your success, according to this guy.

However, I prefer the dumb caveman method and just walking up to a girl and making an ass out of myself, or simply saying "Hello, how are you?". I think in most daily situations girls and even guys feel super uncomfortable being approached by people they don't know. It helps to have seen them before, someone who may pass you in your daily routine, etc. In order to pull off someone you've seen for the first time, i would imagine it must be straight up extreme physical attraction in order to work. I've for sure never pulled it off.

It took me two years while in college to talk to my dream girl. I saw her 5 times a week at the gym I worked and worked out at. All the guys I knew there thought she was "untouchable" and we were all afraid to talk to her. I was too, but I developed a plan. I waited till the first time I saw her out (which happened to be 2 years after I first saw her, unfortunately we never went to the same bars!), and simply went up to her and said "Hey, I'm Kevin, I see you at the gym everyday. How's your night going so far?". She had already seen me so many times and seen me interact with people that even though we never talked, she wasn't threatened by me. When the time came, it was soooo easy for us to talk. We wound up dating and all the guys at the gym were wondering how I pulled it off.

By being myself!

Gastankerdriver · September 28th, 2007, 07:22 AM

First of all, I try to be as flirtatious with as many women as possible during the day whether I am attracted to them or not--especially if they are old or less attractive. It puts you in the habit of approaching women, not just for sexual reasons. You should always smile a lot and put out a relaxed vibe. It should be natural (which comes with practise on women you are not attracted to.) In essence, you should be very comfortable around the opposite sex. I prefer the immersion program. When I hit on a woman, she rarely knows she is being hit on. I start out with something innocuous like "Do these avocados look ripe," or "Hey, what do you think of the fish here?" Basically anything.....if she starts up a good rap with you, just keep moving things along. "Hey, I love this store...do you live around here?" You have to have a goal in mind which is #1 finding out if she is single and #2 getting her phone number. One of my favorite lead ins is internet dating. "Hey, I just started doing this internet dating thing, have you ever done it? Oh really, are you single....are you seeing anyone right now.... Blah blah blah. Get her number. It takes a lot of practise, but after awhile it will become routine and boring. When you get to mindnumbing, you have reached a whole new level. Practise, practise, practise...now I am late for work....GOOD LUCK

**gunshowbabe** · September 28th, 2007, 10:52 AM

Hello everyone, I was reading through the thread and decided to offer up my opnion, hope you don't mind.

I can say that honestly looks do have something to do with it but what's most attractive to me is a person with confidence and personality. So even if you are average looking, if you have the b*lls to walk up to me and just be down to earth and easygoing I would think that was an attractive quality. A relationship, and I'm not sure if you want a relationship or not, is best when you can be comfortable with eachother and can talk about anything together. Yeah sure, if you are good looking that is always a plus ++ but it's not a requirement to all women... now I would appreciate a man that likes to take care of himself don't get me wrong but I'm saying don't be intimidated to walk up to her. What is good looking anyway? Everyone has different tastes and you just have to take your chances. I suggest you walk up to her and just pretend she is your best friend, talk to her like you've known her forever. Well good luck my friend and hope everything works out... Just curious, is this a girl you see regularly?

**cjx** · November 6th, 2007, 08:20 PM

It helps if you see this young woman on a somewhat regular basis. Most of the women with whom I've spent time romantically were "unknown" and not in my vocational, academic, or social spheres. Just start a conversation with her--e.g., if she's reading a book, ask her about it--, ask some questions, and keep it light and relaxed. I introduce myself at the end of the 1st conversation, and after chatting with her over a month, I then ask if we can exchange numbers, but while chatting during that month, I subtly weave in a question about whether or not she's single.

If you don't see this young woman on a regular basis, it's tougher because there's no time to make a rapport or the appearance of a rapport, but you can try to initiate a conversation and cut it off prematurely, saying that you have a lot to do or some prior obligation but would enjoy having another chance to chat.

Hope this helps.