Crush on girl at work

fitnessfanatic1 · December 2nd, 2007, 08:49 AM

A new girl started at the place i work recently. She's very pretty but initially i wasn't attracted to her. Over the months i have gradually started to develop some feelings for her. I'm trying to hold these feeling back because she's got a boyfriend. I don't think any amount of mental blocking will stop the feelings from progressing (past experiences tell me this). We have a good laugh at work and i joke with her alot. I dont know what i should start thinking. Can anyone help me please.

**Bocgam** · December 2nd, 2007, 03:50 PM

Man, you've got to play it clean. You don't need to "start thinking" anything. In the end it makes no difference if she doesn't have any feelings for you. Do you think she does?

The best you can probably do is drop in a "It's a shame you've got a boyfriend." Landing this line is tough though. You don't want to telegraph excessive interest. A subtle hint would be more than enough.

Kyla McGrath · December 2nd, 2007, 04:46 PM

that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. For one, she is a co-worker and two she has a boyfriend and three you have no idea if she even likes you in that way, she may only think of you as a friend. My advice is to leave it, still hang out with her and stuff. If she is really interested in starting something romantic with you, she will let you know. Let her make the first move. If you say some thing or make the first move I fear you are going to get hurt and be embarressed... or even worse. You may ruin the friendship you have with her or get in trouble at work. Leave the ball inherr court, it is much safer.

I hope some advice from a women has helped.

XOXO
Kyla

**joker13** · December 2nd, 2007, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyla McGrath

that sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. For one, she is a co-worker and two she has a boyfriend and three you have no idea if she even likes you in that way, she may only think of you as a friend. My advice is to leave it, still hang out with her and stuff. If she is really interested in starting something romantic with you, she will let you know. Let her make the first move. If you say some thing or make the first move I fear you are going to get hurt and be embarressed... or even worse. You may ruin the friendship you have with her or get in trouble at work. Leave the ball inherr court, it is much safer.

I hope some advice from a women has helped.

XOXO
Kyla

X2, she has a man and if she didn't want to be with him she wouldn't be. Leave it alone and go find someone who isn't involved. Even if she does leave her man for you, then you have to deal with all the fun drama that comes with "taking" a girl from another guy. Trust me on this one I know.

**Insex** · December 2nd, 2007, 07:45 PM

Just as much as the girl, you need to respect her boyfriend. That's his girlfriend, and you shouldn't be messing around with what is his.

Put yourself in his shoes. Would you like having some coworker of your girlfriend messing around with her?

**griffo2** · December 2nd, 2007, 09:17 PM

She has no contract with a bf....if they were married you have to stay clear as a matter of respect....She is in the field my son and fair game.....never let a chance go my friend.....She will soon tell you to stay away if she has a future with this currant bf.

How the bloody hell are you going to find out how hot the water is if ye dun dip in ze toe...lol.i am sure you don't want to die wondering.lol.My 2c.

here is a classic line....My daughter came home the other day and told me this one....she was in the supermarket,a guy dumper her trolley with his and said..."well we had better exchange phone numbers now for insurance reasons"...hahahahahaa.

**johnny_on_the_spot** · December 2nd, 2007, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Insex

Just as much as the girl, you need to respect her boyfriend. That's his girlfriend, and you shouldn't be messing around with what is his.

Put yourself in his shoes. Would you like having some coworker of your girlfriend messing around with her?

I disagree. she is not property and is not his. if she wants to be with him, then she isnt going to dump him for you. i would say let the woman make the first move

**wildstang** · December 2nd, 2007, 11:02 PM

as i see it, you could be playing with fire. boyfriend catchs wind of your intentions possible physical confrontation. just do as others have said leave the decision too her making. now that dosent meen you cant have her as a friend but you should put those feelings of yours in check for the time being.
all i can say of the situation is ive been in it before and i was the boyfriend at home, and i did hurt the guy. i didnt have the intentions of it at the time but the skinny little shit had to big of a set of balls and didnt know when to shut his mouth so unfortunately i did it for him.

**ItalianStallion** · December 3rd, 2007, 01:45 AM

insurance reasons...haha classic..im gonna use that one

Rock36 · December 3rd, 2007, 03:46 AM

First of all I say let it go, because you don't fish off the company pier.

Second, I personally respect if a girl has a boyfriend. You can use the playa mentality and say, "if the boyfriend was getting the job done at home, she never would have left," but that is BS to me.

Think about it, if you managed get her interested in you while she already had a boyfriend, what does that say about her? If she drops her current boyfriend for you, what makes you think she won't do the exact same thing for the next guy to come along. I'm sure you won't buy into the "if she isn't married, she is free game" theory when some other dude is hitting on her when the two of you are seeing each other.

Finally, if she did leave you so easily for someone else, that would bring me back to my first point. Why would you want to be working around someone who you have or had a relationship with?

If you value your job, and are a professional at what you do, you don't need to be mixing buisness and pleasure IMHO.

fitnessfanatic1 · December 3rd, 2007, 03:57 AM

Thank you everyone for the advice. I hardly see the girl at work because we work different shifts. I'm sure its just a crush and it will fade in time but i just hate all of the torture of the feelings that come with a crush. Especially when you cant do anything about it.

**prozacfan** · December 3rd, 2007, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitnessfanatic1

Thank you everyone for the advice. I hardly see the girl at work because we work different shifts. I'm sure its just a crush and it will fade in time but i just hate all of the torture of the feelings that come with a crush. Especially when you cant do anything about it.

Tread carefully, my friend. A crush (perhaps just an infatuation exacerbated by being lonely and/or horny) on a co-worker can lead to erratic or ill-advised behavior on your part that you could be the last to notice or admit to.

Be careful not to place her on some sort of pedestal in your mind. Don't make her out to be the end-all, be-all of femininity. The more you idealize her as "perfect for you", the further away from reality your wished-for (or simply imagined) relationship will take you.

If you are predisposed to having a vivid fantasy life or if you suffer from Depression, the after-effects of any kind of disappointing personal encounter with her could be catastrophic for you.

I'm not saying you should avoid women at work as a rule. But usually when one starts out so emtionally (and hormonally?) gung-ho in a one-sided relationship, it becomes a slippery slope that pulls you farther and farther away from rational thought and behavior.

Er, or so I've read. (cough cough)

qicon · December 21st, 2007, 10:03 PM

"don't fish off the company pier"

"don't shit where you eat"

the above lines in the previous posts are some good advice. don't let your feelings get away like if you have no control over them. at this point, try going out more and meeting more girls. actually, when single, just keep doing that, meeting as many girls as you can. you have a greater chance of meeting someone you want to have a relationship with, and will develop a sense for if a girl is nice or is an asshole.

**championofnight** · December 22nd, 2007, 02:17 AM

I will offer my humble advice and what i have gathered from my experiances.

...kill her bf....do it now otherwise it might be too late...

**championofnight** · December 22nd, 2007, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitnessfanatic1

Thank you everyone for the advice. I hardly see the girl at work because we work different shifts. I'm sure its just a crush and it will fade in time but i just hate all of the torture of the feelings that come with a crush. Especially when you cant do anything about it.

Eh, move on.

Fill yourself with dignity and title and make a decision to keep it a freindship. You are in control, and the only reason why your tortured is because you want to be tortured. You want to feel like you have met the right one.

Ask yourself this question: would you be happy if you were with her? Really think it through. Observe every little quirk she has, and BE OBJECTIVE.

You know, the truth is, alot of women are pretty. I have seen women in their 30's or 40's who i still thought were hot, and yes im willing to admit it. There is plenty of them, so fight the crush off and find another. Simple, eh?

**Insex** · December 22nd, 2007, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qicon

"don't fish off the company pier"

"don't shit where you eat"

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

Gastankerdriver · December 23rd, 2007, 02:53 AM

If you value your job, then forget about her. If you don't care about your job, then go for it. I was involved with a co-worker once and it was a disaster. We ended up fighting in court for 6 months. It's unbelievable, what you could end up going through. Stay away. There are plenty of other women out there.

**Carnitas** · December 23rd, 2007, 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Insex

Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

Or my personal favorite, Don't put your finger in your coworkers butt, cause then you will have butt smell on your fingers.

**championofnight** · December 23rd, 2007, 10:21 PM

Cmon, man you have had crushes before havent you?
I bet all will work out, just keep being you: i promise you that shining star in the sky will attract many to you, but you shouldnt let the light go out due to another star's prior history with her, your just worth more than that. I say see what happens.

katz7479 · December 24th, 2007, 12:19 AM

dude first off i love the fact that someone said dont deep you pen in company ink hahahahhahaha

secondly i would avoid coworker relationship as in dating or anyhting in those terms.

third it sounds like a school boy crush so just hit up some clubs or whereever you go to meet gurls and find another gurl there are lots of fish in the sea.