is she right?

**theatrain** · January 2nd, 2008, 01:52 PM

A few weeks ago a friend and I were in the mall. In one of the stores this girl kept looking in our direction. My friend went in the fitting room and the girl came up to me and asked me if my friend was single. She was very pretty and I knew my friend would be interested, she gave me her # to give to him then left.

According to him they've been talking since then and he's very interested. She seems like a catch to him, but one thing about her bothered him and t be quite honest.. Puzzled me.

I wa sat his house and they were chatting on instant messenger. She made some crack about how he's probably got a bunch of other girls lined up and he's just gonna play her and he said yeah right, you've probably got a million guys waiting on u.

She said.. In a serious reply. I'm not sure what it was, but basically it was okay for her to be dating other guys.. That's just keeping her options open, until she's in a commited relationship, which of course anyone could agree to its only fair, but the tricky part comes in where shje basically said it wouldn't be alright, however if my friend was to date around because that would confuse her.. The guy should be fighting for what he wants if he wants it bad enough, and while she doesn't expect him 100% to not be going on small dates or flirting with other girls, out of courtesy for her . She has more of a right to date around while they are talking than he should because the guy should be trying to win over the girl, not vice versa?

I was dumbfounded. I'm thinking like is this true or is this girl bsing.. What the heck?

I know for a fact my friend doesn't have any other girls lined up that he's talking to like this or anything, so he tells me its not gonna be a problem.. But he's starting to like her so much I can't help but wonder and he even mentioned it to. Is he the only one she's talking to like this?

He told me he doesn't wanna backoff because she's easy to talk to and she's pretty and all that good stuff, but if she's hooking up with other people on the side.. Well, basically he doesn't wanna hangout with this girl and kiss her.. Knowing she probably kissed somebody the day before or the day after.. or maybe more.

**justaguy87337** · January 2nd, 2008, 02:10 PM

sounds like a tease with baggage to me. fair is fair if she is not exclusive to yer friend he doen't need to be to her either. She sounds as if she wants a harem of boys to entertain her and she will pick her best sutor.

**theatrain** · January 2nd, 2008, 02:24 PM

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.. But when I heard the whole... well the guy is supposed to fight for what he wants... well basically I got confused? Was she right?

He asked her exactly how many options she had.. She replied saying a few, but she's only interested in 1. He tells me ya its good to know I'm her top choice, but I don't like feeling like I'm in competition with several others.. Is that dumb ? I told him no I'd feel the same damn way.

Prior to that discussion they had all he said was good things about her. How much they had in common, and how she is just like him in the aspect that a lot of her friends decided to make dumb choices when highschool started and she stayed the same. That's how me and him and one of our other friends are. The rest of our group started heavy smoking, lots of weed and drinking while us 3 stayed the same. I was happy for him, it was cool to hear all was going well..

Its not my business, so idk why I'm even posting about it. I was just curious, is that right of her?

**gunshowbabe** · January 2nd, 2008, 02:28 PM

She sounds like she needs to grow up to me. He has a right to date anyone that he wants just like her... until he is in a commited relationship. ... What makes her so special anyway? Does she seriously take him for an idiot to think he will be devoted to her while she is messing around with other guys?... A relationship is fair if she wants one.

Either way, I wouldn't take her seriously, a girl that thinks like that can't be trusted, like you said, she might be saying that to the other guys too... and I don't know about your friend but I wouldn't want left-overs.

**theatrain** · January 2nd, 2008, 02:48 PM

I'm going to talk to him see if the situation has gotten any better.

And gunshowbabe, about the left overs. That's exactly how I would feel, but he doesn't exactly look at it like that. He's a good guy, he doesn't just hook up with whoever, he told me one time anyone could just screw each other and it mean nothing never talk to that person again. Heck, you hear about itt al the time, while sometimes a kiss takes a lot more.

Basically he doesn't want to take her on a date one day, do all the romantic stuff, at the end of the day.. Go in for the goodnight kiss, knowing that he's doing it cause he thinks she's special, meanwhile the following weekend she could very well be hooking up with some random drunk guy at a party making out all sloppy and stuff meaning nothing when he kissed her cause he wanted it to mean something

Idk. Its only been a few weeks of them talking, He's still in the whole flirting thing. He actually had planned on sending her flowerss to school and having them delivered to her class (she's a senior in highschool? I think, idk he just told me his idea) I personally wanted to tell him maybe he should save those kind of ideas for someone who might be a little more worth it. But who am I to tell him what to do

Anyway I agree with everyone completley.

**gunshowbabe** · January 2nd, 2008, 03:01 PM

He just needs to sit down and have a serious talk with her if he really likes her that much. He does sound like a nice guy, she just seems to be a little immature. Maybe I have it all wrong but there is obviously some confusion between the two and that's never good... he should just not be too afraid to talk to her about that. Good luck to your friend homey!

**sleepyles** · January 2nd, 2008, 03:18 PM

Well I don't agree that she can see other people while he can't. She seems to be playing around, likes to have her cake and eat it too. If your buddy is really interested the only way to see if she is actually serious is to go out on a date with her. Nothing can replace actual body language, facial expression, and eye contact, to read someone and their intentions. She could also be just saying that she has other guys as potential partners, but one thing I do know is some girls/ women like a challenge of getting a guy. If the dude, doesn't have any other prospects it doesn't do it for them. But your buddy sounds like a "good guy", so take everything with a grain of salt. In my opinion, only a true personal encounter can help his situation, as phone calls, MSN, etc, doesn't say much.

If he is dealing with an "Alpha Female" then it is a whole different story, and "game on".

**wildstang** · January 2nd, 2008, 03:29 PM

well she sounds like a big dicktease loser. the gall of her to say she can date and he cant! what a slut! tell him to dump her and move on!

**tooncesthecat** · January 2nd, 2008, 06:29 PM

To chime in, I think it's OK for a guy to pursue a girl if he's got a good reason. Sounds like this guy knows very little about this girl aside from what others have told him about her and her looks. This basically adds up to nothing! (BTW - it amazes me how teenagers rarely talk to each other face to face anymore. Everything is text this and "my friend said that". Reading these posts is making me crazy!)

Bottom line - if she wants to whore around and thinks it's wrong for him, someone should teach her what the word "hypocrite" means!

Gastankerdriver · January 2nd, 2008, 11:12 PM

She sounds pretty smart. It is a good move to keep your options open while dating. Where she blew it was by telling him that she was seeing other people. She loses some serious cool points on that one. Your friend needs to pursue this one agressively and then pin her down and make her commit to not seeing any one else. I've done this plenty of times. In return, he will have to commit to her to be her boyfriend. I would start calling her a lot and dating her agressively. If she isn't on board, then play it out and see how far you can take it, but see other people too. Your single friend should be seeing other women right now. I mean, that is what being "single" is all about. It is about playing the field. Even if a woman is flaking out or being a tease, you push it as far as you can. There are few things better than having your cell ringing off the hook from women calling you, even if you aren't that much into them. You are desired, and other women begin to sense it when they see you.