Regarding The Girl I Was Talkin About

[Poetickz]

so everything seems to be good, we talk a lil here and there each day, i dont come off too overly obsessive or anything.

but, there is one problem i am having, i am setting myself up for a let down...preparing for the worst, just because its happend so much in the past. every relationship i get into i will get attached very easily, i already think about her all the time. she said she likes me, i hope she really does.

another problem, shes fuckin gorgeous, beautiful. im just average, i have confidence in myself but at the same time, we're only still getting to know eachother, i wouldnt consider ourselves exclusive yet, and theres alot of guys who are hotter than me....

im not too sure how i feel...i expect the worst to happen, because its happend so often before. we've only been out on one date so far. i know i definatley have to feel it out a little bit more.

what do yall think? have you had experiences like this? if you did what was the outcome?

[theatrain]

I don't know her so ill try my best based on what I do know.

You have very low low confidence from the way you're talking about yourself. This will definitley NOT benefit you. Girls don't like that, as a matter of fact NOONE likes that. Have you ever met someone who picks them self apart and constantly talks down on themselves? You probbaly rather not even talk to that person let alone date them.

Also, girls are more than meats the eye. They don't ask for much. Its more about personality, but of course they want a guy who cleans himself up and is decent looking. Haven't you ever been to the mall and seen an ass ugly guy walking around the mall with a blonde bombshell? Every trip to the mall I see atleast 5 of these cases, and I doubt that everytime I see this the guy is rich. I also can speak from experience and I'm sure a lot of other guys on this forum can too. As far as looks go, I've done better than I thought I should have in the past. You don't have to be an abercrombie n fitch model to get a pretty girl.

If you don't love yourself, it makes it hard for others to love you.

Don't see yourself as "omg! I'm so lucky this super hott babe is into me, I'm fricken lucky, I hope she doesn't stop talkin to me". You're worth more than that man, don't degrade yourself.

[Carnitas]

Honestly, if shes with you dude, theres gotta be something she likes about you no? Confidence is probably one of the most important things a woman looks for in a guy. Just remember, this girl likes you, shes beautiful (I'm going by what you say here, and I am sure she is), so you should be the cockiest mother fucker out there right now dude. If you don't believe in yourself, she might see that and that could be a huge turn off for a girl.

[Poetickz]

ya thankfully i havnt given any signs that say damn i fuckin hate myself or w/e, i do have confidence, but just enough...know what i mean?

needless to say ty for the feedback, much appreciated.

so i shouldnt put up my wall preparing for the worst correct? just act like im fuckin badass cuz i got this amazing looking girl....i have a pic of her actually



shes 26 btw, im 21, and shes alot more mature than alot of the girls that are my age, very intelligent, funny to be around, easy to talk to, loves art, loves all kinds of music, family oriented, really into movies.

i am a nice guy, and this is the catch of my life so far, i know she likes, me, but the thing i doubt is if she likes me cuz im overly nice, and shes takin advantage of it? blah blah blah, anyway i think im going to lighten up on the generosity part (giving her stuff blah blah) and keep goin with the great personality thing.

thanks again...btw what do u think of her? :P

[john112364]

Women aren't quite as visual as men. Men generally go for apperance first and personality second. Women, in my not so great experience, seem to go more for personality than apperance. As theatrain says, of course they want a man who takes care of himself (who doesn't), but confidence in yourself can be a great attraction. Just be yourself and enjoy her company. And contrary to popular belief, women do like nice guys. (I have this on good athourity: my wife says so)

Oh and btw; she is gorgeous. Enjoy the looks of envy and good luck.

[Poetickz]

thank you to the person who sent me the pm to take her pic down unless i had her permission, didnt think of it that way...

i unfourtunatley have always come across the woman who wishes that they had a nice guy, but only saw me as a friend. hopefully this dosnt fall into that category as well. we'll see though.

[ItalianStallion]

listen my friend...i too have put myself out there on numerous occasions bein that nice guy....u show them u care, n u wanna give them the world, n ur not frankly like sum guys an asshole...i look at like this..u can become like every other asshole in the world..go out at nite bang as many gurls as they can n move on..or u can be that nice guy who tries n tries...ya sure u get shot down more than u want to because u enter the friend zoneand what not...but at the end of the day..im hoping that i will find that one lady that i connect wit..n she will be the most beautiful person i eva met...ya i have hope it happens...when a pretty gurl is into me, i always wonder is she the one? u have to do this, be urself...if ur the nice guy, be that nice guy..dont think ur hot shit because sum chick is into u....
one of my best friends is prob the hottest gurl i eva met...shes amazing...now she works at a bar that we go to n all my friends r suprised that i kno her..n to tell u the truth i kinda dont want them to kno i kno her..not because im ashamed but because shes so awesome it makes me look good...call me an idiot or what u want, but i c myself as the "nice guy"... i look at like this...sure it would be nice n easy for the hot chicks to fall for me...but i will continue to b who i am.even if it means gettin put in friend zone or bein "overlyfriendly" for one day u will find ur mate...she will be everything u wanted...because to me nice guys dont finish last...they just finish later than everyone else....

[Poetickz]

appreciate that man, thank you for the support...


an update as to what is going on, i took her out to dinner tuesday night, a nice little italian restaraunt called lentini's then we went back to her place, watched a movie but the night got cut short because her friend called saying that her head was just smashed into a wall by her ex, so she we gotour shit, she dropped me off and went to go talk to her....also im not sure if i told you this or not, but the week before i just up and gave her 140 bucks no hesitation cuz she was struggling a lil bit with money...anyway

still not sure how the whole thing is going, because i will hear from her one day, but then none at all the next....i dont make it a point to call call call call call over and over again
i just call once leave a message....then called about 6-7 hours later, no answer and i was like eh w/e

like i said ive been setting myself up, preparing myself for the worst, which will be nothing happening between us. maybe im jumping to conclusions too much, but i feel like shes tired of me maybe? i have no evidence to convey that, we had a great time at dinner...

i think the tactic im going to pull next is to give her some room to do her shit (she's got a lot on her plate atm) and just take it slow, its only been 2 weeks so far, its not like i need to see her every given day of the week. so im simply keeping my cool and next time i see her ask her, would you consider being in a relationship with me? or somethin or the sort you know? how should i pull that off by the way?. wish me luck

[ItalianStallion]

i say just because she has a lot on her plate doesnt mean shes not into u...u need to continue doin what ur doin...the money issue is a different story...im sure u have enough money that 140 wouldnt kill ur bank n make her a lil easier...but this act of generiosity might be sumwhat bad..i hope she wants to pay u back n this isnt a gift...i dont think u should give her room..or space..continue wat u doin by ease up a lil bit...dont stop callin her..but maybe call less...dont not be nice to her, just dont offer as much u kno? ive learned that if gurls dont wanna be wit u, hang out wit u or talk to u they wont...when u call they wont return calls..when u ask to hang out they have sumtin to do...so by u takin her out n talkin to her ur good...i hope so atleast...i wouldnt ask would u wanna be in a reltaionship wit me..id wait for the appropriate time to say where do u c us going? because n then u say how u feel n give her time to respond or think bout it...for all u kno she might think of u as this nice guy that would never wanna be wit a headcase like her, just their for support...u tell her how u feel n she opens up to a relationship or messin around romanticaly...ive always believed in honesty n communication rather than playin the games of relationships...u tell her how u truely feel n ask her how she does n u work from their...no mind games...str8 up truth

[mt611]

I'm not saying that I'm old but in my early dating stages I was the really nice guy and that did tend to leave me in the friend zone and thats not where I wanted to be(not saying its a bad place just not for me anymore). I saw a pattern over and over. As Italianstallion said you can be a nice guy but you don't have to offer as much. Another issue is I always romanticized that the female and I as a couple way too early and began to go too many steps ahead of the situation and I dont know if thats an issue of yours but i figured i would throw it out there from my personal experiences. Its best to see how things are moving. As far as you seeing yourself as average joe, she may be gorgeous and perhaps the woman of your dreams but don't let her image drag yours down. Part of dating is the getting to know a person and also showing you're worthiness towards the female and vice versa so you at least have to think you're worthy or on the same level socially with her. Thats not just your stereotypic good looks and money, but personality these days is a major winner. Humor is just absolutely golden and so is confidence. If you really like her give her time if shes busy but dont let her forget that you're there. I don't to offend anyone but when 40 year old virgin came out this phrase helped me out "Don't put the pu_ _y on the pedestal." I took it as don't let a female intimidate you too much you may over glorify some and put yourself down. Not as anything offensive.

[tooncesthecat]

I agree with Italianstallion when he said to be careful about giving her too much money of large gifts of any sort. If you gave her the $140, that's in the past so don't sweat it, but if she gets to a point where she gets too used to this, you'll never really be sure she's into you and not your gifts!

Secondly, regarding the common belief that women like "jerks", IMO a "jerk" could initially come across as confident. I mean, if a guy is talking shit to other guys or just being a loudmouth idiot, a girl could mistake this for being an"in-control" guy, a confident, do whatever he wants type. This may or may not be true, and he may or may not be an ass, but I just think the two can be confused. Point is, just be confident without being an ass and you'll get way more mileage from your relationship!

[ItalianStallion]

hey Poet..ne news?

[Embrance]

Read some of the David De Angelo's stuff.Subscribe to his newsletter and learn some stuff about women there.The main problem here is that you are a wuss.Thats it.

[john112364]

Originally Posted by Embrance

Read some of the David De Angelo's stuff.Subscribe to his newsletter and learn some stuff about women there.The main problem here is that you are a wuss.Thats it.

Dude. That kind of attitude is not going to win you any friends here. Some guys actually like to treat women with respect. Dating is confusing for some guys and it helps to vent and get some useful advice. If that makes you a wuss then count me on that bandwagon. I guess I wouldn't have my wife if I wasn't a "wuss", so I'll deal with that title while I'm happilly married.

[wildstang]

majority of women dont care as much about looks as compared to whats inside the person, type of person he is. ive seen plenty of model material with ugly ass fat guys, and its pretty obvious it wasnt there looks that attracted them.

[Poetickz]

Originally Posted by Embrance

Read some of the David De Angelo's stuff.Subscribe to his newsletter and learn some stuff about women there.The main problem here is that you are a wuss.Thats it.

nah you're right, i am a wuss when it comes to my approach. i do need to learn to approach with more self confidence, and be direct. but as of late i've had more girls approach me when i havnt tried to look for one, its kinda funny in a way...


anyway italian, and anyone else whose been keeping track with me here.

the first night we spent together was jan 1st...we went on a 2nd date a week later on the 8th.

heard from her only a couple times the next few days, if i were to call or send a text..only called like once, didnt call alot or make it seem like i was bein overly possessive or w/e. week passes by, nothing goes down, dont hear from her. im at work one night though and she shows up at the bar i work at, everything seems cool, like shes happy to see me, we talk and catch up, i try to see if she wants to go out on thurs, she says its girls night blah blah blah, we talk some more, and she ends up leavin about 10 ish she says bye, i say bye. blah blah blah thats that.

havnt heard from her since....no returned phone calls, no answer, no response to texts...

not sure what happend, i keep thinkin it had to do with somethin that happend on the first night we were together...cuz everything was cool. maybe the wrong perceptions were made that night, maybe i shouldnt of pushed more out of making out and such....dont know...but its a good thing i was already mentally preparing myself for the worst, because like i said before i was expecting this to happen, cuz it always turns out this way for me.

nothing i can really do. gonna still try to keep in touch, maybe like once a week.
feb 14th is comin up soon...i know where she lives...maybe i'll see how she reacts to some flowers for the fuck of it. i dunno

good news is, like i said earlier i havnt been tryin much recently and yet another one has kinda fallen into my lap. a cincinatti bengals cheerleader who was sleeping with one of my friends. my friend fucked her over by tryin to sleep with one of her friends and she broke it off. rofl. i dont really want any part of it tbh....she does have some nice legs though. lol i dunno we'll see.


so thoughts? opinions?

p.s also i think ima start lying about my age. i'm currently 21, gonna be 22 in march, and every single girl ive talked to, or tried to get with, are in theyre mid to late 20's and say you're so young, blah blah blah. think im just gonna say im 24 or 25 or somethin from now on. fuck that im too young shit. to be honest i think im more mature than anyone else my age around here, age really isnt anything but a number in most aspects. ive been through alot of shit thats made me a better person, i was raised to respect, i find myself more attracted to older woman anyway because in most cases theyre more mature than woman my age. whaddya think? should i lie about my age or not?

[john112364]

Let's see. Where to start.

First, sorry to hear that it doesn't seem to be working out. I had similar situations when I was dating. Suddenly, my calls weren't returned and no explaination was offered. It confused and frustrated me to no end. Just a "It didn't click for me" would have been nice. My solution: move on. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I would be careful about the rebound cheerleader though. I'm not sure how close you are to your friend. She could be using you to retaliate againstyour friend. But, if you think it's genuine, then go for it. (After all Isn't a cheerleader every guys fantasy)

As for your age. I wouldn't lie about that. 1) Any woman worth while won't care. 2) If she finds out you lied about your age (and it will come out eventually) she'll wonder what else you may have lied about. Don't start a relationship off with a lie.

Hope some of this helps. Good luck.

[pliny_2001]

Originally Posted by Poetickz

nothing i can really do. gonna still try to keep in touch, maybe like once a week.
feb 14th is comin up soon...i know where she lives...maybe i'll see how she reacts to some flowers for the fuck of it. i dunno

This is just a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea.


As for the age, I wouldn't - I mean, really, do you think that the fact that you say '21' when a girl might rather hear '25' is really the big obstacle? (it isn't btw)

[wildstang]

no dont be lying about your age. everybody else has said enough on the consequences so i wont go there today.

[Poetickz]

ya true. appreciate the opinions guys. i just wish i could get some closure on the whole thing too...you know? cant stand to be left hangin around not knowin what the fuck happend.