Work Relationship

si3c2000 · April 30th, 2008, 08:08 PM

I know there have probably been a lot of posts about this topic before, but i think every situation is a little different. Well here it goes:

I started working right out of school a year and a half ago, while working i for the firm im at now i met this girl from my town who actually ended up lving on the same street i live on. to make a long story short we hit it off and became really good friends. i think however there is a little something more to our friendship however as we flirt a lot and talk about things other co-workers wouldn't dare talk about. just recently i started hanging out with her outside of the work envionment and we have had great times. The catch however is that she has a bf. it's the worst of both worlds a girl you like at work which is harder than normal and a girl you like with a bf. now i know normally people would say unless you are and idiot stay away from that kind of situation. well i guess i am an idiot. the more i talk/hang out with her, the more i like her. we are very compatible and get a long. she rarely talks about her bf with me and she has also told me that her bf knows about how we are good friends. I am in a lose-lose situation. I am a shy guy as it is and have a tough time communicating what i want to women, if she didn't have a bf it would be great, but also i would hate to say something and then have it be all awkward at work. I am thinking of cutting my losses and letting it be. but something in my gut is telling me that i will be making the worng move. i think she really likes me however there is still the chance that she is just really flirty and is comfortable around me so she sees our relationship like that.

What do i do?

**illiniballfan112** · April 30th, 2008, 08:27 PM

I'm 29 right now.

The same exact thing happened to me when I had my first real job out of college, about 23 years old.

We hung out....she broke up with her BF a few weeks later.

We dated for three months

We broke up

Work found out

We both got fired

I don't know how else to put it, but stay away from any girl you work with that has a BF. Unless you don't care if you lose your job. Shes too young and immature and unstable if she has a BF and is hanging out with you. It's a risky deal, be prepared to lose alot if it goes wrong.

I say focus on your new career and get ahead of the game. Worst case scenario, if you can't resist her, disclose the relationship to your boss ASAP and find out if it will effect your standing at work.

BTW, Welcome to the board!

**illiniballfan112** · April 30th, 2008, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by si3c2000

i think she really likes me however there is still the chance that she is just really flirty and is comfortable around me so she sees our relationship like that.

What do i do?

By the way, any girl who really likes you does not have a boyfriend....she'd break up with him first clean before she started flirting with you...especially if you work together IMO

**wildstang** · April 30th, 2008, 10:22 PM

your playing with fire here. first off she has a b/f he supposedly knows! do you honestly think she told him and its just plain cosher to hang around with another possible could be b/f? get real this girl is playing the field and your her new puppet! shes much to immature as i think you might be also. contrary to popular belief a person in there 20's is not mature yet no matter what they think! this is the time of their life they make tons of mistakes. i honestly believe it takes untill your early to mid 30's before you have a straight outlook on life and have matured enough to be a responsible adult.
now im not bashing 20 year olds on purpose here either, this is the truth. more of the people my age bracket and older will tend to agree also with the maturity stages of life.

**theatrain** · April 30th, 2008, 11:09 PM

It's never cool to step on another mans toes. Its bad karma and it will come back to you, no matter if she says he treats her bad or what.. Not saying he does, but lets say you see him being a dick to her.. Well chances are, shes no angel either.

Put yourself in his shoes, how would it feel if some dude is coming between you and your girl.
If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you..

**cujo-1** · May 1st, 2008, 12:12 AM

i just see plenty of heartache and bad times if you continue down this path.

**JoeBAR** · May 1st, 2008, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illiniballfan112

I'm 29 right now.

The same exact thing happened to me when I had my first real job out of college, about 23 years old.

We hung out....she broke up with her BF a few weeks later.

We dated for three months

We broke up

Work found out

We both got fired

I don't know how else to put it, but stay away from any girl you work with that has a BF. Unless you don't care if you lose your job. Shes too young and immature and unstable if she has a BF and is hanging out with you. It's a risky deal, be prepared to lose alot if it goes wrong.

I say focus on your new career and get ahead of the game. Worst case scenario, if you can't resist her, disclose the relationship to your boss ASAP and find out if it will effect your standing at work.

BTW, Welcome to the board!

You got sacked coz you shagged a girl from werk? Oh my... It's worse than I thought

Rock36 · May 1st, 2008, 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by illiniballfan112

By the way, any girl who really likes you does not have a boyfriend....she'd break up with him first clean before she started flirting with you...especially if you work together IMO

+1 illiniballfan112 is right on IMHO. I personally don't go for work relationships, and even more importantly I don't mess around with girls with b/f, fiances, or husbands.

No matter which way you look at it, there is lying and deception involved (either between her and the b/f or between her and you), and that isn't anyone you want to get involved with.

usmckang · May 7th, 2008, 02:01 AM

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sexy69 · May 7th, 2008, 08:57 AM

My advice is to stay away from office relationships. The more you two become more friendly the more people will talk in the office. Working in a office enviorment is like working in politics once some gets wind of something it becomes a national broad cast. If you can remain friends great but if your feelings increase you are going to have to let this go.

Also you said you are shy and have a hard time communicating with woman try doing what worked for this woman and apply it to other woman and things will become a lot easier

inthecircle · May 7th, 2008, 09:58 AM

Like my Grandpa use to tell me never get your "muffin" where you earn your 'bread". Not a good idea. Too many problems staring you in the face.....

ThisFlyGuy · August 16th, 2008, 01:26 AM

like the saying goes "don't sh!t where you sleep".........lol

just be careful