Skinny guy attracted to muscular girls

[mrbenbob]

Ever since I can remember I’ve been attracted to muscular girls, but I’m skinny myself. I’m 23, 5’10”, and 135 lbs. When I use the body fat meter at the gym it says “E-4” for “error, 4% or below.” One time I got lucky and got 5%! I’m using all the best sources to try to gain weight, but I just can’t eat enough. I feel like girls who work out think I’m a skinny worm, and it makes me feel terrible about myself. I can date very pretty girls, but I want to be able to date a girl with a six pack!

When I tell people I’m trying to gain weight, they think I’m crazy. They say everyone wants to be thin, and I should be so happy. Someone even called me an asshole for “not understanding what it’s like to be fat.” Well she doesn’t understand what it’s like to be skinny! I could settle for a great girl, but I’d live the rest of my life wishing I was with a fitness hottie or a bodybuilder. Is being a bodybuilder myself the only way to date muscular girls? It seems only fair. Girls who work so hard on their bodies deserve a guy who does the same. And I certainly wouldn’t be attracted to a fat chick, no matter how great a friend she is. I don’t feel like my personality, playing drums, or any number of athletic activities like snowboarding or rock climbing mean anything to muscular girls because I’m simply too skinny.

Should I go all out, dedicate my life to gaining weight, and take steroids? Maybe I should throw away the rest of my 20’s and resolve to gain weight when my metabolism slows down? Or should I give up on my dream entirely, and accept that I’m genetically screwed? I appreciate any advice, thanks!

[SUPREME]

LOL...wow...I just don't know what to say...but ehh...stop worrying and live your life. And say away from steroids and any other enhancement.

[torofuerte]

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Should I go all out, dedicate my life to gaining weight, and take steroids? Maybe I should throw away the rest of my 20’s and resolve to gain weight when my metabolism slows down? Or should I give up on my dream entirely, and accept that I’m genetically screwed? I appreciate any advice, thanks!

The whole paragraph was like "WTF?". Furthermore, after reading sentence in bold, half of my neurons popped in agony and died, accelerating my descend into dumbdom.

YouTube

Serious answer: Get a copy of the book linked in my signature and stick to it for the next 24 months. Do as the book says or don't do it at all.

[Derkylides]

Your logic of muscular girls being attracted exclusively to muscular guys doesn't make sense. If that were true, then muscular guys would also find only muscular girls to be attractive, which obviously isn't the case.
Do what you can about your body, but don't waste your time trying to become something you are not. Being smart means playing to your strengths, not your (percieved) weaknesses. There are all sorts of couples in the world, and there is no law stating you can't find a muscular girl that is attracted to you, but you mustn't act insecure about your looks; instead, do what you can to make an impression with things you're good at.
I wish you the best of luck, but there's one thing you should remember as a friendly advice from a somewhat older guy - looking for a relationship using body type as the only criteria is a recipe for disaster. That is how you look for one night stands, not something long-term. Be careful not to cause yourself more suffering by succeeding then by failing to do what you want so much.
But in the end, we all learn through our own experience.

[mrbenbob]

Thanks guys for the replies. I agree with what you all said. Sorry to kill anyone’s neurons, but I was just trying to illustrate how hopeless I feel. I’m not seriously considering steroids. I don’t think they’d even help me that much.

Derkylides, I believe you that looking for a relationship using body type as the only criteria is a recipe for disaster. But I at least want to have a few one night stands with muscular girls, or I’d feel like I was giving up on what I truly want. I really like your line, “Be careful not to cause yourself more suffering by succeeding then by failing to do what you want so much.” That seems to be the dilemma, and I guess I just don’t know what to do. The issue comes down to getting over my shame of being skinny. I can gain enough weight to be proud of my body, or accept it for what it is, or remain stuck in indecision.

Should I take from your replies that it’s okay to be skinny? I can barely imagine living without that weight hanging over my head. I feel like getting bigger is the only way to “earn” it.

[torofuerte]

bob, read the following carefully, twice. Then read it again and assimilate it before replying back.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Thanks guys for the replies. I agree with what you all said. Sorry to kill anyone’s neurons, but I was just trying to illustrate how hopeless I feel.

You are such a defeatist. You got two people telling you not to be a defeatist and to be confident... and yet, your only reply is the same song of hopelessness and defeat, the very same shit these guys are telling you not to.

Did you really, really read what Derkylides and SUPREME told you? Not just glimpse, but ACTUALLY READ AND ADOPT WHAT THEY ARE TELLING YOU AS PART OF YOUR LIFE?

Did you even check the book I told you? At the very least, did you even click on that link?

There are people out there who have to get their breakfast out of garbage dumps and here you are feeling hopeless. What do you expect? A gentle shoulder rub to tell you that it's ok to feel this way?

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Stop that shit right now. Snap out of that crap. Be confident. Be happy. Be aggressive.

You are alive, you are healthy, right off your early 20s with the entire life ahead of you, you have your two testicles intact, you live in the developed world, where you have access to the best nutrition, the best sports science and the widest array of exercise equipment. You have everything at your disposal to make physique and life changes.

You can do anything you want with your physique, everything.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

I’m not seriously considering steroids. I don’t think they’d even help me that much.

Awwwww, why? Why they wouldn't work for you (not that I'm telling you must use them)? But why?

What is the science you used to reach to that conclusion? Is it an educated opinion?

Or is this your constant tune, that things won't work for little poor you?

With that kind of attitude, hell yeah steroids won't help you much. Nothing would. It's all about attitude. Nothing will help you if you feel bad and sorry about poor little yourself.

HINT: Women of all ages and physical shapes smell that type of attitude. And guess what? They hate it.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Derkylides, I believe you that looking for a relationship using body type as the only criteria is a recipe for disaster. But I at least want to have a few one night stands with muscular girls, or I’d feel like I was giving up on what I truly want.

You don't know what you want. You have a sexual fantasy (which we all have), but you are letting it control your life. Like OH SHIT OH SHIT, I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MUSCZLE GURL, BUT IF I CAN'T MY LIFE WILL BE SHIT AND I'M DOOM AND SAD AND EMO FOR ALL ETERNITY.

It's a sexual fantasy dude. Don't let that control your life. But if you really want to pursue it (which is ok), at least do it from a healthy stand point, one in which you are confident and healthy and happy about yourself. Otherwise it will consume you and define you. It will make you really fucking creepy.

There is a big difference between the guy who likes sex with athletic women and AND THE POOR SAP WHO MUST HAVE SEX WITH ZOMG MUSCLE GIRLS TO FULLFILL HIS LIFELONG AMBITIONS!@!

Also, do you think a woman, muscular or not would want to have a one-night stand or a relationship with a man who feels sorry about himself? They want a man, nor a little bed-wetting boy.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

I really like your line, “Be careful not to cause yourself more suffering by succeeding then by failing to do what you want so much.” That seems to be the dilemma, and I guess I just don’t know what to do.

Get the book I told you and stick to it for the next 24 months, and eat like a cow in the process. There are other methods, but this is the one I know. Use it exactly as the book says or don't do it at all. That will take care of your body.

Go out and meet people, women of all walks and shapes and make friends with them. Date them. Do activities, like social dancing, charity, working out, sports, shit like that.

Have a life beyond your attraction to muscular women and your addiction to being sadness for being skinny.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

The issue comes down to getting over my shame of being skinny. I can gain enough weight to be proud of my body, or accept it for what it is, or remain stuck in indecision.

If you don't like something, change it. So far it looks to me you just want guys to reassure you that it's ok, looking for kind words to reward your indecision for implementing possitive change, or a magic pill that will take care of it.

If you want a body to be proud of, then work your ass off for the next 2-3 years to get to it. Hopefully you will also develop a mind and a personality to go with it.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Should I take from your replies that it’s okay to be skinny?

You would know the answer to that question if you really pay attention to what has been told to you instead of focusing on your shame and pain and suffering and all the imaginary tragedies that come with being skinny.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

I can barely imagine living without that weight hanging over my head. I feel like getting bigger is the only way to “earn” it.

THEN DO IT!!!!

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but sometimes you have to slap and spit at people's faces to really get them to snap.

Considering all the shit some really unfortunate people really have to deal with, you should consider yourself lucky.

Choice is yours from this point forward dude. Keep feeling sorry about your ass, or build your confident, be thankful for all the informational, sports/exercise and nutritional resources you have at your disposal and implement actual change.

[mrbenbob]

LOL, I like your style. But I’m still not understanding you. First of all, I’m “confident and happy and aggressive” in every area of my life other than my OMGZ SECRET SEXUAL DESIRE to date hot muscular girls. DAMN they’re soo hot, how could I live life without experiencing them? You get me? I’m not crying over here, I’m ready to take action. Now to review, my choices as I see them are:
1. Accept myself for who I am, know that I’m awesome, and approach hot muscle chicks with the confidence that they totally want to date me.
2. Accept that I’m NOT good enough, because I’m too skinny. Solve the problem by gaining weight.
Now YOU say:

Originally Posted by torofuerte

if you really want to pursue it (which is ok), at least do it from a healthy stand point, one in which you are confident and healthy and happy about yourself.

That’s where I lose you. If I were already happy and confident in myself, then I wouldn’t need to work out. I’d like to have a hot body myself, but it’s really not worth all the trouble if I could just decide, “okay, I’m confident in my body now.”

Then you say:

If you want a body to be proud of, then work your ass off for the next 2-3 years to get to it.

Well if I can’t be proud of my body for 2-3 years, then doesn’t it make sense that I’m ashamed NOW? Yet you give me grief for being ashamed and tell me to be confident! WTF? I swear I’m not trying to be a jackass, I just don’t understand you. Please explain.

P.S. I'm downloading the book you recommended, thanks.

[tooncesthecat]

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Then you say: Well if I can’t be proud of my body for 2-3 years, then doesn’t it make sense that I’m ashamed NOW? Yet you give me grief for being ashamed and tell me to be confident!

I'll try to make this short and direct...it's possible to be proud of your body RIGHT NOW and still strive to achieve a goal of adding weight, muscle, etc. The two are not in conflict and do not negate each other.

If you're saying your happy with your body now but also want to get bigger, then you CAN DO BOTH!

I work in a physical rehabilitation unit. It is critical for my patients to have both short term and long term goals. YOU need to establish both short and long term goals! That could be gaining a certain amount of weight, lifting a certain amount of weight, having certain measurements of your arms or chest, etc. MAKE THEM REALISTIC! Then set forth a PLAN to achieve these goals. When you meet a goal, set another, more lofty one.

Of course, none of this will matter unless you DO THE WORK! Good luck bro!

[torofuerte]

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

LOL, I like your style. But I’m still not understanding you. First of all, I’m “confident and happy and aggressive” in every area of my life other than my OMGZ SECRET SEXUAL DESIRE to date hot muscular girls. DAMN they’re soo hot, how could I live life without experiencing them? You get me?

I get you so long as you erase every expression of hoplessness such "I'm just trying to illustrate how hopeless I feel" out of your modus operandi.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

I’m not crying over here, I’m ready to take action. Now to review, my choices as I see them are:
1. Accept myself for who I am, know that I’m awesome, and approach hot muscle chicks with the confidence that they totally want to date me.
2. Accept that I’m NOT good enough, because I’m too skinny. Solve the problem by gaining weight.

You also have:

3. Work out for the sake of working out, independent of who you end up sleeping with.
4. Don't give a hoot whether you get some nookie with a muscular/athletic woman.
5. Pay a muscular/athletic escort (seriously)

... and most importantly.

6. Accept yourself for who you are, know that you are awesome, and approach hot muscle chicks with the confidence that they totally want to date you WHILE knowing you can work on your physique at any point in time.

Has it occured to you that your first options (1 and 2) are not mutually exclusive?

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Now YOU say: That’s where I lose you. If I were already happy and confident in myself, then I wouldn’t need to work out. I’d like to have a hot body myself, but it’s really not worth all the trouble if I could just decide, “okay, I’m confident in my body now.”

Wow, just wow. Has it occured to you that, you know, you could be proud of something that you can always improve upon? I know it's a revolutionary idea, but it might be within grasp.

You are creating a dichotomy where none exist. It is not mandatory to be ashamed (or at least not be proud) of something in order to improve upon it in any way you see fit.

You did not see Ronnie Coleman stop working on his looks when he won the Mr. Olympia the first time, did you? I'm sure he was proud of how he looked back in 1998, and that did not stop on working and improving as he deemed fit to win the Olympia again until 2005.

You do not see the likes like Heather Green stop working on her body even though she has achieved what IMO is the best pair of glutes on the face of the Earth, does she?

To you, either is shame or pride, one bringing improvement and the other one contentment. The world does not work like that. You can be happy with what you have and legitimaly want for more. It's not a complicated concept to grasp man.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Then you say: Well if I can’t be proud of my body for 2-3 years, then doesn’t it make sense that I’m ashamed NOW?

No, I said that if you don't like what you have now, then change it.

And there is nothing to stop you from being proud of the gradual improvements you could make each month of the next 2-3 years as you build the body you want.

Again, for you, shame or pride, improvement or contentment/stagnation is an all-or-nothing kinda deal. That's retarded shit dude.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

Yet you give me grief for being ashamed and tell me to be confident!

Yeah, I give you grief for being ashamed because you shouldn't. And yes I'm telling you to be confident, which is the opposite of being ashamed. Where is the conflict in this.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

WTF?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking as I'm reading your post.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

I swear I’m not trying to be a jackass, I just don’t understand you. Please explain.

Meh, I wouldn't care if you are a jackass or not. That is inconsequential to me or the message that I'm bringing you.

1. Scratch all that 'feeling hopelessness' shit out of your vocabulary.

2. Be proud and confident of who you are. Don't look at your weaknesses. Seek your strenghts.

3. Don't let #2 stop from improving on what you have. If you don't like something, change it. If there is something that can be improved upon, do so.

Originally Posted by mrbenbob

P.S. I'm downloading the book you recommended, thanks.

You are going to download the book from amazon?

[orientalkid]

If I were already happy and confident in myself, then I wouldn’t need to work out

Uh to get fitter? To have to stronger body so that daily task in life seems easier? And are u assumming everyone in the gym is somewhat dissatisfied with their body and that ppl who workout are not confident?

how about ppl who just like working out or excerising? Pls try not to see muscle as a mean to an end. At least it isnt for me all the time.

[gunshowbabe]

That's your personal preferrence to work out- it shows a lot about a person if they put enough thought into their bodies to keep it up (in my opinion)... most people just let it go to waste especially in this day in time. It sounds like you are currently very active in your life, maybe try looking into your dieting. Is gaining weight something you want to do for yourself or to impress someone else? Before you go jumping into anything make sure you research and learn as much as possible. Just really think about what you just asked... You don't have to be a bodybuilder to find a girl that works out and why are you beating yourself up about it? First of all, you are just 23 years old!! Secondly, there aren't chicks like that everywhere... you have to find them :p And don't go juicing without knowing anything about it, it's not anything to play around with without any research. Also, never give up in what you really want, are you crazy my friend? There are too many possibilities in this life to get what you want!! I would definitely recommend a healthy lifestyle eating well and doing some kind of physical acticity to keep your heart healthy and to benefit from other benefits- in my opinion it is necessary... but you don't have to be a bodybuilder and you don't have to do steroids, especially to impress someone else...

[pliny_2001]

I'll just hit a few points and in no way try to address a comprehensive response.

1 - You know how you're skinny and attracted to muscular girls? What's to say that a muscular girl can't be attracted to skinny guys? The point here is that the girls you're interested in aren't some monolithic bloc of similar likes-and-dislikes. Whatever opinions they form as to your dating potential aren't going to be based on their fitness level, but rather on their own personalities. Most of the 'muscular' (i.e., not fitness-model types) girls that I know are, in fact, not being constantly asked out. So go up and talk to one. Girls are just like regular people, except they generally smell better and are softer.

2 - You have massive problems with self-confidence. Being a big, fit guy won't make them go away (as anyone who knows big, fit guys will be able to tell you). The process of building yourself into fitness (or academic success, or race car driving, or painting, or whatever) can give you a sense of accomplishment, success, and therefore some confidence in yourself and your abilities.

3 - I'm a sucky psychologist. My sessions would last about 10 minutes, wherein I'd listen to problems, ask a few probing questions, and then slap the person, grab their cheeks, and yell at them to "be a man!" (assuming they're men, of course. I don't understand women at all). So my advice to you is go out and accomplish something. Successfully run a race, get an 'A,' mow the lawn. Just gain a few success. String a few of those together, and other things will start falling into order.

Good luck. Know what you're about before you start adding in other people to your life.

[mrbenbob]

Originally Posted by orientalkid

Are u assumming everyone in the gym is somewhat dissatisfied with their body and that ppl who workout are not confident?

No. People who work out can be confident in their progress, willpower, discipline, etc. A 210 pound fatso can be proud of his body if he used to be 310! But the key is that your hard work has to be WORKING. Nothing I do works because I don’t eat enough. Working out 3 times a week, and eating super clean, I can manage 3300 calories a day with a 35/45/20 protein/carbs/fat split. On that program I gained 5 pounds in 10 weeks and stayed at “error – 4%” bodyfat. (Which leads me to believe I wasn’t eating enough for a “bulking” diet). Then I had finals to study for and I was burned out from eating 7 times a day, so I quit. That was my 4th time quitting a workout program. This summer I’ve been trying the “eat junk all day and move as little as possible” diet, and I’m staying solidly at 135. Doritos and coke are so filling, I’m probably only eating 2500 calories a day, anyway. I have no justification for being confident in my body because I’m A. too skinny and B. a failure. But I’m not hopeless, torofuerte! As long as I’m alive, I haven’t quit yet. And remember, I’m talking about my BODY here. I have tons of confidence in other areas.

Originally Posted by torofuerte

Has it occurred to you that, you know, you could be proud of something that you can always improve upon?

Yes, like playing drums, rock climbing, snowboarding, skateboarding, scuba diving, my job in technical sales, relationships, etc. But I HATE working towards something and failing, and that’s why I hate my body. It makes me feel helpless and emasculated to not be able to change my OWN body. If I were slowly improving at a sustainable rate, then everything would be great.

You are going to download the book from amazon?

It’s all over the internet. I got mine at freemedicalebooks.net.

OK! Now back to the issue at hand. I am AMAZED that no one thinks it’s a problem for a skinny guy to date a muscular girl. I honestly thought it was a rule of the universe that you had to be bigger or stronger than the girls you date. The guy has to look like he protects the girl, not the other way around. For example, it would be possible for a fat guy to date a bodybuilder, because he would technically be bigger and taller. Are you beginning to see just how psychologically screwed up I am about being skinny? Anyway, now I’m trying to forget 23 years of mental programming and accept that some muscular girls might be attracted to skinny guys. Some muscular girls might be attracted to skinny guys. Hmm.

I want to thank everyone for being so supportive. You guys said some really deep stuff that I’ll have to read over and over again for a long time. Thanks!

[pliny_2001]

I won't try to address the psychological issues, which seem pretty deep.

But the eating's easy. Just eat more. That's it - there's no magic potion. At my lightest weight at this height (6'3'') I was somewhere in the 170's (high school, I don't remember exactly). I'm 40 pounds heavier now. So along with gutting out every rep I had planned, and not skipping a workout, I just followed my diet. One's worthless without the other.

I'm sorry you're burned out after eating seven times a day. I'm also sorry that you're quitting a program. But that's the problem. You're quitting. Own your successes, and your failures. If you don't like failing, then do something the fuck about it. I love working out - it's a stress relief, it's adult play-time, it's 4 hours a week when it's socially acceptable to stare at myself in a mirror. I'm sick and tired of eating, though. But I fucking do it. 3300 calories? (this is meant with love, here - like an older brother) Boo-the-fuck-hoo. In an intense training cycle, I can go north of 5000 and still be losing weight. I'm the guy who invented doing shots of olive oil with every meal to up the calories. Before a steak dinner, I'll order a steak appetizer. I'll eat a meal before I go out with friends to eat a meal. I'll carry protein bars to concerts. I'll take a cooler with my every day. I spend Sunday afternoon buying and prepping the food that I need in the upcoming week, so as to not be unprepared.

I don't like failure. So I try to do what's necessary to avoid it.

Like I alluded to, though, you've got image problems that aren't going to go away by getting bigger. While eating and lifting will help you to go through a transformation, I personally don't feel that you're going to be satisfied until you work through those issues. Therapy's always a good option, if only b/c they have to listen to you. I find it to be generally more satisfying to just talk things out with my dog (she'll gladly listen, and is more fun to have around the house). But I think you need to talk through those issues. My $.02.

Good luck. Sorry if I sounded harsh, but I felt it needed to be said. And it's post-midnight, so my impulse control's a little weakened.

[wildstang]

Originally Posted by torofuerte

bob, read the following carefully, twice. Then read it again and assimilate it before replying back.



You are such a defeatist. You got two people telling you not to be a defeatist and to be confident... and yet, your only reply is the same song of hopelessness and defeat, the very same shit these guys are telling you not to.

Did you really, really read what Derkylides and SUPREME told you? Not just glimpse, but ACTUALLY READ AND ADOPT WHAT THEY ARE TELLING YOU AS PART OF YOUR LIFE?

Did you even check the book I told you? At the very least, did you even click on that link?

There are people out there who have to get their breakfast out of garbage dumps and here you are feeling hopeless. What do you expect? A gentle shoulder rub to tell you that it's ok to feel this way?

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Stop that shit right now. Snap out of that crap. Be confident. Be happy. Be aggressive.

You are alive, you are healthy, right off your early 20s with the entire life ahead of you, you have your two testicles intact, you live in the developed world, where you have access to the best nutrition, the best sports science and the widest array of exercise equipment. You have everything at your disposal to make physique and life changes.

You can do anything you want with your physique, everything.



Awwwww, why? Why they wouldn't work for you (not that I'm telling you must use them)? But why?

What is the science you used to reach to that conclusion? Is it an educated opinion?

Or is this your constant tune, that things won't work for little poor you?

With that kind of attitude, hell yeah steroids won't help you much. Nothing would. It's all about attitude. Nothing will help you if you feel bad and sorry about poor little yourself.

HINT: Women of all ages and physical shapes smell that type of attitude. And guess what? They hate it.




You don't know what you want. You have a sexual fantasy (which we all have), but you are letting it control your life. Like OH SHIT OH SHIT, I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A MUSCZLE GURL, BUT IF I CAN'T MY LIFE WILL BE SHIT AND I'M DOOM AND SAD AND EMO FOR ALL ETERNITY.

It's a sexual fantasy dude. Don't let that control your life. But if you really want to pursue it (which is ok), at least do it from a healthy stand point, one in which you are confident and healthy and happy about yourself. Otherwise it will consume you and define you. It will make you really fucking creepy.

There is a big difference between the guy who likes sex with athletic women and AND THE POOR SAP WHO MUST HAVE SEX WITH ZOMG MUSCLE GIRLS TO FULLFILL HIS LIFELONG AMBITIONS!@!

Also, do you think a woman, muscular or not would want to have a one-night stand or a relationship with a man who feels sorry about himself? They want a man, nor a little bed-wetting boy.



Get the book I told you and stick to it for the next 24 months, and eat like a cow in the process. There are other methods, but this is the one I know. Use it exactly as the book says or don't do it at all. That will take care of your body.

Go out and meet people, women of all walks and shapes and make friends with them. Date them. Do activities, like social dancing, charity, working out, sports, shit like that.

Have a life beyond your attraction to muscular women and your addiction to being sadness for being skinny.



If you don't like something, change it. So far it looks to me you just want guys to reassure you that it's ok, looking for kind words to reward your indecision for implementing possitive change, or a magic pill that will take care of it.

If you want a body to be proud of, then work your ass off for the next 2-3 years to get to it. Hopefully you will also develop a mind and a personality to go with it.



You would know the answer to that question if you really pay attention to what has been told to you instead of focusing on your shame and pain and suffering and all the imaginary tragedies that come with being skinny.



THEN DO IT!!!!

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but sometimes you have to slap and spit at people's faces to really get them to snap.

Considering all the shit some really unfortunate people really have to deal with, you should consider yourself lucky.

Choice is yours from this point forward dude. Keep feeling sorry about your ass, or build your confident, be thankful for all the informational, sports/exercise and nutritional resources you have at your disposal and implement actual change.

wow!!!! i thorough evaluation hitting things home solidly.

[A1food4U]

Ok. enough of the phsycology class, I first came here very ignorant of my body and it's needs.
But the members here started me off on what has been a quest for answers and health. They have been instrumental in jump starting quest. So I can say this; look at your diet, how many calories do you consume daily? How many are carbs/fat/protien? Maybe you just need too shift away from carbs and get more workable protien in your diet. Maybe your calorie intake is low for a guy as active as you. Someone here will have the answer if you take the time and look at your situation and post information useful in addressing your weight.

We can help you add muscle and pounds, from there it's up to you!!!! be proactive, confidence comes from the journeynot the ending.

[DaveBB]

for the love of god, dont try to gain fat thinking you will look good. TRUST me nothing is worse than a skinny guy with no muscle tone with man boobs and a gut, its probably the worst build i can think of other than morbidly obese. Concentrate on a clean diet with lots of carbs from food like oatmeal, pasta, whole grain breads, fruits, vegetables, chicken, steak. and adopt some kind of heavy weight training program. I'd recommend just go to a personal trainer if you don't want to learn by yourself. Gains will come easy up to 150 for you probably

[gYmgIrL]

I actually had a bit of an arguement with a friend over this one. I said "i cant believe this poor guy think he has to be fit to meet fit women" and they were all

"well of course he does"

and I was all "say... WHAAATT?!?!"

his argument was that if she was fit, she's love fitness and so they'd have something in common. My argument is, if you meet someone, and you like them, and you have things in common with, it doesnt matter what they, or you, look like. But then again I do live in the lovely land of wonderment where all humans are good people and am continually shocked to find out people arent 100% lovely all the time.

[SUPREME]

I dunno GG...would you date a jabba the hut type of man? HMMMM??

[jorcaryvan]

Mrbenbob check this video at time 1:25 :

Nikki Fuller and Carla Haug on "The Other...

You don't have to be a bodybuilder to date a bodybuilder as simple as that. I mean how a woman, or anyone for that matter, would like the company of somebody only for their physique. If you treat a woman right, and I don't care if she is Ms. Olympia, you'll gain her heart, trust me.