Never more man Never more

[Poetickz]

i have the confidence, i talk to girls without fear. theres no problem what so ever in my game, except for this one thing. im too trusting, and too fucking nice still. not my fault really, i was raised as a person who gives. i feel like i need to reach to those who are in rough situations, knowing that i used to be in their shoes. blah blah blah.... okay so heres the story:

went to a strip club not looking to hook up, or meet anyone, just wanted a lapdance, a drink or two, and look at some females. big deal. half hour passes, i get a lapdance from this girl named "lexi". all that goes great, we decide to sit at a table and talk for a little while she waits to go on stage, we're conversating, make a long story short shes asks for my digits. i give her the digits and hang out with her a little longer, saw her on stage, got another lapdance, we hugged, kissed, and i left.

now ive been in this situation before with the whole "whats your number" thing, and i wasnt goin to call her because we all know usually they want you to call them to see if your interested blah blah blah. a couple days go by, she calls me up wanting to hang out, i said lets go to dinner, have a couple drinks blah blah blah. 1st date went well, really well, lots of eye contact, lots of physical contact (cuddling) and our first legitmate kiss. she seems like shes an authentic girl (going to school, keeping her head clean, no drugs, a lil drinking here n there), which left me thinking after the date, this might be going somewhere, but i still gotta keep my head cool.

so a couple days go by again and she says she misses me and wants to see me again, i say the same, and a few days go by before our second date. we go out to the bar that night and she starts telling me her whole life story, starts crying (rather fucked up sappy i had a fucked up childhoood type of story) thus the reason why shes a stripper right? and im thinkin to myself wow, i really like this girl, ive had a fucked up childhood, i can relate to alot of her problems and i wanna be there for this chick cuz i think im startin to like her, im not worrying about it so much because i figure alot of people have had problems in their lives, shes just had it bad. so now shes penetrated me so to speak. so this is when i go and do some stupid shit. she askes me if she can borrow some money to help save up for an apartment cuz she recently was kicked out of her moms and is livin in a hotel and blah blah blah.

she told me she was going to pay me back, we even wrote out this contract...which really dosnt mean shit cuz its not very legible, but i trusted her., plus i believe in karma, if she dosnt pay me back i'll still be rewarded in the end, and she'll continue to live a miserable life, and our relationship is void, if she does then im rewarded for lending, plus i get my money back, plus shes living a better life, and everything is all peachy. sounds good when thinking about it, but when it all actually goes down and your pretty sure you've been fucked over, its hard to get over.

so anyway we keep in touch for the next week over the phone, i come to see her one more time, but over the phone a couple days prior to coming to see her, shes seems more distant, very short talking, and quick to hang up.

needless to say i saw her, things seemed alrite, seemed like she was happy to see me. and then it happens. i call her a couple days later, picks up aftrer the 4th ring says "hello?" i say "wussup baby how you doin" then shes like "can i call you back? im in the middle of somethin"......havnt heard from her since.

lesson learned....never will i trust a girl with my generosity again...period...

this chick has some intense emotional baggage it seems, and i was second guessing pursuing it further after the 2nd date anyway, and i shoulda never gave her that money...310 dollars down the drain. i didnt break the bank loanin it out to her, and thats the only reason i would loan money anyway if i knew it wasnt going to put me behind on rent or anything. but lesson learned....im never givin out money to anyone anymore. just gonna start sheilding myself more or somethin, cuz ive been takin advantage of, not to far extremities, but it just sucks that it happens more often than not.

[wil]

dude...

[Steel_UK]

I suppose this has just been one of those big eye opening life experiences for you. Hopefully you've learnt a lot from it and will react more accordingly in future instances, and not be so easy to trust someone like that. Although I suppose in some ways giving trust in its own right has to be done near the start, joys of the double edged sword called Relationships.

Question is, what is it that you're asking for or what do you want to be discussed? You never said, so the impression I'm getting is that you want us to rip your post to shreds.

[pliny_2001]

Please tell me you can be under 21 and go to strip clubs in Kentucky.

-or-

Wanna play poker sometime?




Hopefully you learned the lesson, but you really shouldn't need to live the lesson in order to learn it. Good luck out there.

[SAINT_X]

...Live and learn man, don't be too hard on yourself.

[torofuerte]

Dude, what the hell?

Seriously, you weren't being nice, or too nice. You were being retarded. Lending money to someone you don't f* know, that you met at a strip club?

You gotta learn from this experience. Otherwise, you are going to repeat the same mistake again and again and again.

Seriously dude, this is not a manner of being too nice or trusting. It's a complete lack of common sense. No woman at a strip club will ever call you unless to get something from you. Period. I know I know it's a generalization. Fuck it. That generalization works well in times like this when we are lonely or whatever and we are staring at a pair of boobs. We become stupid. I know, I've been there, we all have.

You said you didn't go to the strip joint to hook up, but by saying that, I believe you did, at least unconsciously. Maybe not to hook up but certainly to look for something, and that makes you vulnerable. I'm telling from experience dude. Do not ever assume anything in a place like that. It's a simple business exchange, you put the money, and she puts her lap on you (and if you are lucky or you pay well enough, you get more.)

Nothing more, nothing else. If you cannot live by that hard rule, if you feel you are/will be vulnerable to the same manipulation again, do not go to a strip joint. Period.

She may call you (and God knows how many other suckers) to make sure you go next night to pay her more lap dances (or whatever she's willing to give for a price.) It's called marketing. It's called reaching the customer, it's called establishing a customer relationship.

In the event she may find you likeable (after all, she probably has to lap dance and pretend to be sexy and shit to a bunch of smelly fatsos and creeps in back-breaking high heels for 8 hours while breathing a smoke-filled environment resembling the metane+amonia+CO2+water vapor athmosphere of a fucking hostile planet.)

So she may ask you to sit next to her and get her a drink and chat - she gets you to buy more drinks (her job) while getting a break from standing on high heels with a pronounced lordorsis, away from the creeps. And when you leave, she'll find the less creepy guy she can find to get another break from work. Every night.

And in the event she actually spills her guts to you, do you really want that shit dude? Is pussy so tantalizing that you want to play Dr. Phil??? Man, we all have enough problems to deal with, why listening to the crap of someone you don't know and that 90% of the time will never have anything to do with you outside of the strip joint? You lend an ear to your family or friends, not just to anyone. You go to a strip joint to entertain yourself, not to be someone's clutch.

Be selfish, be cautious, develop some common sense dude. It's not that people are evil, but some people will simply use you to get to a particular goal. Up to you if you want to be used like that.

Good luck out there. Keep your eyes open and don't let people turn you into a doormat or stepping stone.

Have fun, but by the the holy nutsof Beelzebub, have common sense.

[lizzyb]

Dude......so sorry this has happened to you, well sort of!!

You sound like yes a nice, genrous perhaps overly empathizing person....what's this chick 'selling' for a living?! That's right $-E-X!! Most gals running in those circles drug free or not know how to con the best of cons! Most gals in that 'career' have had sordid childhoods, usually sexual in nature (childhood incest, rape etc)...stripping is their way of getting even!! She fooled you in the same manner she was fooled as a child don't be a hater.....just feel sorry for the gal, she needs proffessional help...you couldn't have 'saved' her anyways!

Unfortunately if you were looking for a straight up sort of exchange, you need to be shopping in better places.....McDonald's doesn't have Filet Mignon on their menu...JMO

[chuckg]

You were trusting, but please don't think of that as a bad thing. That's makes you a good person and good people don't always finish last. You may very well put up a brick wall to protect yourself, but believe me there'll come a time when a woman will come along so special that she'll bust down that wall w/o any problem.


I speak from experience. Bottom line, always be true to yourself.

[A1food4U]

Having a good heart will serve you well in the long run!!!!

But as many have said, there is a reason you were there in the first place, you just didn't plan on tipping $300 at once.....

[mooshue]

im with torofuerte on this one, dumb ass. You were really stupid. Thats a strippers job, to pretend she likes you and take as much money from you as she can. They may even fuck you to get what they need, its their job!!!!!!!
What did you expect bro, the pretty woman movie? I seriously doubt you got the kind of scratch richard gear did in that movie.
This situation has nothing to do with being to nice to people, you simply got played by a stripper.

[joey9]

Originally Posted by Poetickz

i have the confidence, i talk to girls without fear. theres no problem what so ever in my game, except for this one thing. im too trusting, and too fucking nice still. not my fault really, i was raised as a person who gives. i feel like i need to reach to those who are in rough situations, knowing that i used to be in their shoes. blah blah blah.... okay so heres the story:

went to a strip club not looking to hook up, or meet anyone

I agree with the others.

I think the important thing is that if we go around acting tough, like we got all the answers, we're "without fear", etc. then we're almost certain to get into trouble.

When it really comes down to it, we're not tough, we're not fearless, we're not without needs. We need intimacy with other human beings. If we pretend we don't need these things because we think that makes us weak, then we've got a huge blind spot about ourselves, and we're going to get played over and over because we don't even know what we're looking for, what's driving us.

So yeah, sometimes we get played, but what did we bring to the situation? What were we looking for?

By the way, there's such a thing as "idiot compassion". This is when you think you're being nice to somebody, when in reality you're just doing something for the sake of your own comfort that doesn't really benefit the other person in the way you think it does.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. I can see some similarities to myself.

[pamgid]

Originally Posted by torofuerte

Dude, what the hell?

Seriously, you weren't being nice, or too nice. You were being retarded. Lending money to someone you don't f* know, that you met at a strip club?
...
Seriously dude, this is not a manner of being too nice or trusting. It's a complete lack of common sense. No woman at a strip club will ever call you unless to get something from you. Period. I know I know it's a generalization. Fuck it...

And in the event she actually spills her guts to you, do you really want that shit dude? ... Man, we all have enough problems to deal with, why listening to the crap of someone you don't know? You lend an ear to your family or friends, not just to anyone. You go to a strip joint to entertain yourself, not to be someone's clutch...

Good luck out there. Keep your eyes open and don't let people turn you into a doormat or stepping stone.

Have fun, but by the the holy nutsof Beelzebub, have common sense.

Go to the mirror and repeat Jack Nicholson's line in a few good men :" now don't I feel like the f**ing A$$hole"? then let it go and move on.

[torofuerte]

Being an a*hole is my natural state of being

[Insex]

To the original poster:

I'm sorry to say that it appears you have a clear diagnosis of Knight in Shinning Armor syndrome.



You're not a bad person; you're a nice man with good intentions. However, you're a little too nice with women. Whenever you find a damsel in distress (like this stripper you knew), you feel the need to rescue her. That's why you felt the need to loan her some money for her rent, it wasn't just karma. Once she got what she wanted from you, she was through with you and began looking for her next victim to get money from. That's what she does for a living, she gets as much money as she can from them (usually for drugs, not paying rent) then moves on to the next guy.

My advice: Stick to fighting fire-breathing dragons. Although the difficulties life throws at you can pierce your armor, a damsel in distress can get through your breastplate and break your heart.

Hopefully my post helped brighten up your day. Laugh at your mistakes, and move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

[Poetickz]

appreciate the feedback everyone, just had to vent. im just gonna let it go and move on, i feel sorry for her. not worth time to sit around and mourn. thanks again everyone

[A1food4U]

Originally Posted by Poetickz

appreciate the feedback everyone, just had to vent. im just gonna let it go and move on, i feel sorry for her. not worth time to sit around and mourn. thanks again everyone

That's the most sensible thing anyone here has said today. Now follow through!!!

[SUPREME]

OMG I can't believe you fell for that grift...Does this ho still work @ the strip joint or no??

[johnny_on_the_spot]

you want to save someone? become a fireman...

no need to beat you down, since some people have been pretty harsh, just next time a simple white lie would suffice (ie "I don't have any extra money") and if she's gone after that, then you know what matters to her

[tooncesthecat]

So she's done this a million times. She's a pro con-woman, not a stripper! You're (presumably) young so you'll never do that again...problem is the next time it might not be as obvious so you'll have to get more observant.

Watch Judge Judy. You'll learn all you need to know about relationships!

[cujo-1]

did you at least get some trim for that 300$ that night?