Female Friends are hard to keep

naptownkid · August 17th, 2008, 02:01 PM

I've been friends with this woman for over a year. We have great fun, and we share much of the same interests. Lately, my feelings for her have grown into something more, but I've been really trying not to show them to her. We've stated that we should only be friends, but it's killing me not to tell her how I really feel. If i do, I'm affraid that our friendship will be ruined. Can anybody tell me what should I do?

**pliny_2001** · August 17th, 2008, 03:06 PM

Ruin the friendship.

Fear is never an attractive quality (unless if you're talking about bears).

1texas1 · August 17th, 2008, 07:29 PM

Follow your heart........

**mooshue** · August 18th, 2008, 11:56 AM

men don't have women friends, they have females they have slept with, or they want to sleep with. If the woman doesn't know this trait by now, its her problem. Either go for it or accept being in the friend zone forever and move on.

Rock36 · August 18th, 2008, 12:34 PM

You speak the truth. There are only rare exceptions....

Of all the women I am friendly with, or converse with regularly, I have three female friends period, but they are individuals I have very little attraction to period, are married, and have kids.

**mooshue** · August 18th, 2008, 06:32 PM

same here rock, those i call co-workers. I am forced to be nice and charm them

Other than that, everyone is either a banged or wanna bang. I didn't go through years of being a fatass to be friends with hot chicks.

yannibmbr · August 18th, 2008, 08:19 PM

Naptownkid,
This is a situation I am all too familiar with.

Pay attention to what pliny said "ruin the friendship."

You're at a point now where 'just being friends' is no longer possible for you. If you don't here's a sneak preview of what will happen:

You don't tell this woman how you feel. You go on being friends. You pine over her and think about her when you're not with her. The mention of other guys she's dating or in to will begin to eat away at you. Possibly making you jealous. Possibly hurting you... Then, one day, she will get married. To some guy that is not you. Then what? Fast forward even further to the future: You die alone. The end.

Okay, okay, that's a bit dramatic. The point is that if you 'go for it' and lose out then you played your cards and put em on the table. It was a bad beat, kid. Then you can walk the other way knowing that you tried. I was in your situation a couple of times when I was younger. It took one of these girls getting married in order for me to snap out of it. I never told that girl how I felt. You know what the kicker was for the one that got married? After she became engaged her and I went out with mutual friends to have some drinks...She asked me at one point, "How come you never asked me out?" Well, I won't get into that. But that pretty much changed my life. Seriously.

Tell her how you feel, regardless of what you think you know. If she doesn't bite, cut your losses and move on. Period. There are no 'buts' or 'ifs'. Cut your losses.