Another girl another problem... kinda

kinky · September 23rd, 2008, 09:43 PM

So been hanging with this girl for over a month now. The first three weeks were great. We talked a lot. We were very open with each other and did other things. Well one weekend I kinda kept my distance from her for personal reasons. And she didn't like that. Then she returned it in full with a cold shoulder for a week. And now she has even stopped talkin to me the way we use to.

Now she is tells me that she is tryin to keep her distance from me and won't try to get close to me because she doesn't want to get hurt and so forth.

I'm thinkin of just breakin it off with her cuz my feelings for her are strong but I'm not in the mood for this kinda stuff.

Should I? I know I have an answer but wat if I stayed?

UPDATE: I'm just gonna end it.

**tooncesthecat** · September 23rd, 2008, 10:34 PM

Get out and don't worry about it. SHe's immature.

**theatrain** · September 23rd, 2008, 10:46 PM

Huh? Shes not immature.. shes doing the same thing you did.. Keeping her distance for personal reasons.

Do you blame her? Out of nowhere one weekend you just blew her off and now you expect things to go back right to normal. She has a right to be worried that you might just blow her off again.

Doesn't sound like a situation that even needs to be analyzed though a month isn't a very long time. In a week you'll find someone else and you probably wont remember her name.

**tooncesthecat** · September 23rd, 2008, 10:49 PM

OK...they're both immature.

**gunshowbabe** · September 23rd, 2008, 10:52 PM

Why are you upset that she is being distant when you admitted you were distant too. . The only way to fix it is to talk to her and maybe share with her the personal reasons you had to stay away from her? I'm sure if you talk to her and explain your reasons she isn't going to feel vulnerable. Explain to her that you do like her... She probably thinks you are playing and maybe messing around with other girls... who knows what is going through her head, but don't make it seem like she is playing games when you left her in the dark and then expect her to be 100% all about you. Anyway I think it's you that isn't ready for anything serious or you would not be having thoughts of dumping her already without putting in ANY effort especially... I could be wrong, who knows... just my option, you just sound like you are over it.

**gunshowbabe** · September 23rd, 2008, 10:53 PM

oops sorry theatrain! didn't read your post first! Great minds think alike! haha

**theatrain** · September 23rd, 2008, 11:20 PM

Lol np!

I've had my share of girl problems and things can and will get worse than that.. so if you can't handle a little cold shoulder for a few days then you've got a long way to go.

**wil** · September 24th, 2008, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theatrain

... so if you can't handle a little cold shoulder for a few days then you've got a long way to go.

Yeah... and just wait until you're married and find yourself in the dog house for inadvertently doing something and not even knowing what you did and then upon finding out what you did you think "WTF???" and just say like "I'm sorry I didn't even realize I did that" but it doesn't matter because you SHOULD KNOW that you did it and from now on don't ever do it again even though you still aren't really sure what it was you did but you say "OK... I won't do it... sorry dear" even though in reality you'll probably do it again since how do you not do something if you don't know how you did it in the first place and then you'll be in the dog house again for something else but this time you think you have it figured out so you adjust your behavior only to find that adjusting causes another dog house trip and this one of course is another one of those "what did I do" moments... and so on and so forth... but who knows maybe just vaccuuming the house for no reason or emptying the dishwasher will earn you some points back and the doghouse adventures are forgotten until of course you repeat them in which case you're hosed again... yada yada yada...

**wildstang** · September 24th, 2008, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wil

Yeah... and just wait until you're married and find yourself in the dog house for inadvertently doing something and not even knowing what you did and then upon finding out what you did you think "WTF???" and just say like "I'm sorry I didn't even realize I did that" but it doesn't matter because you SHOULD KNOW that you did it and from now on don't ever do it again even though you still aren't really sure what it was you did but you say "OK... I won't do it... sorry dear" even though in reality you'll probably do it again since how do you not do something if you don't know how you did it in the first place and then you'll be in the dog house again for something else but this time you think you have it figured out so you adjust your behavior only to find that adjusting causes another dog house trip and this one of course is another one of those "what did I do" moments... and so on and so forth... but who knows maybe just vaccuuming the house for no reason or emptying the dishwasher will earn you some points back and the doghouse adventures are forgotten until of course you repeat them in which case you're hosed again... yada yada yada...

man wil thinks like me at times!

kinky · September 24th, 2008, 12:35 PM

I already talked to her and told her why I did what I did. I apologized and told her it wouldn't happen again. I broke down for her why I did it.

So right now, I kno I would love to get into something deep with her but it's a risky path that will end up with me in a dark corner one day. So I'll just withdraw

kinky · September 24th, 2008, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wil

Yeah... and just wait until you're married and find yourself in the dog house for inadvertently doing something and not even knowing what you did and then upon finding out what you did you think "WTF???" and just say like "I'm sorry I didn't even realize I did that" but it doesn't matter because you SHOULD KNOW that you did it and from now on don't ever do it again even though you still aren't really sure what it was you did but you say "OK... I won't do it... sorry dear" even though in reality you'll probably do it again since how do you not do something if you don't know how you did it in the first place and then you'll be in the dog house again for something else but this time you think you have it figured out so you adjust your behavior only to find that adjusting causes another dog house trip and this one of course is another one of those "what did I do" moments... and so on and so forth... but who knows maybe just vaccuuming the house for no reason or emptying the dishwasher will earn you some points back and the doghouse adventures are forgotten until of course you repeat them in which case you're hosed again... yada yada yada...

LOL thank u. That made my day

**A1food4U** · September 24th, 2008, 12:57 PM

The trouble is, most human beings, both genders are self involved. You veiw your problems and reactions as necessary, and Danm It why can't your partner just realize they are not as important as You!!!! Trouble is, your both thinking this at the same time.... take a breath, count to ten, and start over. With this girl or another is your choice, but relationships always come down to this type of shit. Successful ones have less of this as you learn to think as a "couple" Just Sayin......

And Reps to wil, nail on the head....

**mooshue** · September 24th, 2008, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wil

Yeah... and just wait until you're married and find yourself in the dog house for inadvertently doing something and not even knowing what you did and then upon finding out what you did you think "WTF???" and just say like "I'm sorry I didn't even realize I did that" but it doesn't matter because you SHOULD KNOW that you did it and from now on don't ever do it again even though you still aren't really sure what it was you did but you say "OK... I won't do it... sorry dear" even though in reality you'll probably do it again since how do you not do something if you don't know how you did it in the first place and then you'll be in the dog house again for something else but this time you think you have it figured out so you adjust your behavior only to find that adjusting causes another dog house trip and this one of course is another one of those "what did I do" moments... and so on and so forth... but who knows maybe just vaccuuming the house for no reason or emptying the dishwasher will earn you some points back and the doghouse adventures are forgotten until of course you repeat them in which case you're hosed again... yada yada yada...

thats exactly what happends. I tell my girlfriend all the time, i dont read minds, i dont take hints, if you want something tell me or leave me the fuck alone!!!!!!!!! and just so you know, I wont ask whats wrong more than once, if something is wrong, say or or just lie and tell me nothing, ill take either one and go on about my day.
She actually feels the same so we get along great!!! Im in a relationship with my very best friend on the planet, besides our son

**wil** · September 24th, 2008, 01:23 PM

Also remember this rule...

If you do laundry and any of her clothes are in there... never ever ever ever EVER... NEVER put her stuff in the dryer unless she specifically says that an item is sopposed to go in the dryer.

It didn't take long for that lesson to get through even my thick skull.

Anyway... kinky... good move actually talking to her about that "personal time" thing. Whether it works out with her or not at least you can say that you were honest and open.

**sucher67** · September 24th, 2008, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wil

Also remember this rule...
If you do laundry and any of her clothes are in there... never ever ever ever EVER... NEVER put her stuff in the dryer unless she specifically says that an item is sopposed to go in the dryer.

Movie material!

kinky · September 24th, 2008, 08:04 PM

broke it off today. Haven't felt this kinda pain in awhile

**tooncesthecat** · September 24th, 2008, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kinky

broke it off today. Haven't felt this kinda pain in awhile

We've all been there. You did the right thing. Don't mess with a girl that plays games.

**championofnight** · September 29th, 2008, 11:23 AM

my bet is that dude, she likes you...i think she was afraid of her feelings for you, because they were just too strong, and that she was waiting...just waiting, for any sign at all that she would get hurt. With feelings like that, im sure she felt hella vulnerable...

But dude..i would apologize to this girl...i mean, seriously, apologize to her....give her a hug, let her know that she can be vulnerable without getting hurt....

Or...break things off with her and find another girl...it might hurt her a little...but, it seems like she already has her guard up...she should be fine

**championofnight** · September 29th, 2008, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kinky

broke it off today. Haven't felt this kinda pain in awhile

oh....