Lies

**mukey** · August 24th, 2009, 10:50 PM

If you are in a relationship with someone, would you ask that person a question you know the answer to? They don't know that you know the answer though, and you are really doing it to test them to see if they would lie to you. Obviously it isn't a simple question like what is the capital of France, but one more likely to adversely affect/effect(can never get this right) the relationship if the wrong answer is given.

**helpmespock** · August 25th, 2009, 06:27 AM

affect, anyhow, yeah, I would. I wouldn't repeatedly try to catch someone in a lie, but a rare check with a question as you suggest will help you asses how honest the person is. I have done it probably 3-4 times in my ten year marriage.

**sucher67** · August 25th, 2009, 06:28 AM

Trust is impossible to earn in a relationship. If it isn't given freely at the beginning, then it is a hard road ahead. Anything one does can be seen in a bad light if trust is not there. (I speak from personal experience).

**wil** · August 25th, 2009, 08:08 AM

Definitely.

But like helpmespock said, don't do it too often. The other person might catch on and assume you don't trust them and hit the bricks.

And the way to remember the difference between affect and effect. Affect is a verb... think of A for Affect = A for action. That's how I was taught back in my grade school days, and that has stuck with me all these years.

**tooncesthecat** · September 2nd, 2009, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MiletJohn

Just you tell me why every person say lie. And what we get. Please tell me.

We tend to get what we want.

**pliny_2001** · September 2nd, 2009, 11:02 AM

Just to be sure, you're asking if we'd lie to someone in order to find out if they'd lie to us. Because you're interested in gauging _their_ truthfulness.

**mukey** · September 2nd, 2009, 01:15 PM

Is it lying to ask them a question you already know the answer to? If it is, I never thought of it that way.

n10city · September 2nd, 2009, 03:01 PM

I don't think you should test them to begin with. If you know the answer to a question, don't pose it as a question to them, talk about it. Personally, I hate those 'games' and I would be pissed off if a girlfriend were to do it to me, and i have broken up with a girl because of things like that.

**pliny_2001** · September 2nd, 2009, 11:47 PM

I don't know if I'd say that your question to them would be a lie, but you're certainly being untruthful with them. After that, it's just a matter of semantics - I'm just trying to think of it from the other person's point of view - and if they recognize what you're doing, it's certainly going to be thought of as you lying to them.

And really, you're probably doing this because you already don't trust them. I mean, what if they answer "correctly" - are you suddenly going to start trusting them? trusting them more?

As people have said earlier, in relationships there are times when knowing this type of hting is pretty useful. But you only get a few a decade; probably best not to use them up at the beginning. It's an interesting question, though.