Running etiquette-Running with a slower buddy

[ajl55]

Hi--
I have a good friend who is a much slower runner than me, but who insists on signing up for every race that I do. Usually I'm fine with that and just enjoy the event and the running company. However, sometimes the competitive streak in me surfaces and I hate watching girls who I presume to be in our age group passing us by!
Is there an unspoken rule among runners that if you run a race with a friend you can only run as fast as the slower runner?

[g_samsa]

Races are for running fast and doing your best. I had typed up a big long answere to this question, but I lost it so I'm going to make this short.

Your friend and you should have a talk about these races where you explain that you're going to need to be running the upcomming race much faster than the rest. I would phrase it in terms of needing to get a PR for training purposes. He probably already knows your better than him so I wouldn't worry about it. He should understand that you will, on occasion, need to run fast so that your running can improve (races are also part of training).

My best friend can run me to death in anything over a 10k so when I run long races with him we understand that I won't be seeing him untill the end. It doesn't affect our friendship and we still run our training together (of course I can beat him by a full minute on a 5k).

Good luck. I had more on the issue but It's been permenatly purged from my brain after my computer shat on me.

[rbjeepthing]

Run your own race run at your own pace!

[bbabb22]

Train at you own level. Yah its nice to have a freind with you but when it comes down to it wou need to train. When im in the gym most of my freinds are a level under me as well as in running. I just take wieght off the bench are strech a little longer at the end and let them finish up. it no big deal just train at your own pace

[biscuitman357]

I would work on building him up to your level every other race.

I'd pick races where you are running at your level alone and save the rest to go at his pace.

[AltarEgo]

To me the essence of the word "race" as it's used in the terms of a definition of this kind of context, is that it's a competitive endeavor. If you're entering road races then that is the way that you want to run them. For the purposes of trying to do your best against everyone else who's also in the race as well as even yourself. Because even if it means that you don't finish ahead of half the field you may still run a personal best time over a course and then you achieve a sense of accomplishment and pride.
You can't do these sorts of things if you simply keep pace with your friend. These are concepts that your friend needs to at least know about and then allow you the freedom to try and enjoy.
Training is something entirely different if you want to have company on your run. Like g_samsa said, you should have a talk with your friend and let them know how you feel about these things. The friendship should be able to last in spite of the two of you not racing together.

[ajl55]

thanks everyone for your replies. My friend has actually already commented several times about how she feels bad about slowing me down so much, so I'm sure she'd understand. I've just been a wimp and haven't had the nerve to have the conversation with her when she brings it up. I'm glad to hear that wanting to run without her doesn't make me a jerk!

thanks again!

[Quazimodo]

I was wondering - how long is the race? In a 5k I wouldn't want to be jogging along but if we are talking half-marathon+ then sometimes you run together with someone for support and the goal is just to finish. Sounds like you have found a solution already.

[ajl55]

we normally run 10K's--the longest race I've done (and that we do together) is an 8-miler on Thanksgiving. I've typically run again after the races because I didn't feel satisfied with my effort.
She wants to do a half or full marathon with me, but frankly, I've resisted because (since I'm a wimp, as has been previously established, and can't seem to telll her how I really feel!) I don't want to do it if I can't do my best.

[whatabetty]

My running buddy and I train together, but when it comes to race day, I can only keep up with her when she's very pregnant.

[Quazimodo]

Sounds like you are just being a good (and sensitive friend). What if next race you tell her that you want to set a personal record for time? I am sure she will understand if you don't run along.

I used to train with a friend who was slower than me but had this maddeningly steady pace every run. No matter the day or the weather or hell and high water he always seemed to keep this exact same tempo. I found that on my bad days it helped me not quit and on the good days I felt I left too much in the tank. I never told him about that either but I think we found a good solution by going for more challanging terrain over time - the steep hill evened it out quite a bit.

[ajl55]

UPDATE: I signed up for a race this weekend and didn't tell her about it. I sort of feel like I'm "cheating" on her, but honestly, I'm excited about the opportunity to run at my own pace!

[g_samsa]

Hope she doesn't find out about you running this race without her. If it's as it seems and she expects to run with you then you'll be up shit creek for not being up-front with her. I'm sure she will be very understanding. I wouldn't feel guilty about running without her, I would feel guilty about not telling her I was running without her.

Well, good luck on the race. I hope you run a great one. Next time tell her (only if she actually takes these things seriously, if not then don't bother).

[ajl55]

I totally agree with you that I should have been upfront with her. My plan was to tell her I was running in the race if she asked what I was doing on Saturday. She never did, so it never came up. Lame, I know, but I am generally a wimp, plus I just don't want to risk hurting her feelings!

[RunnerXC01]

I always run at my own pace, and if my partner cant keep up... thats quite alright.

Its running, and I always feel bad if I dont get my best workout.