How you girls got started?

**theatrain** · March 9th, 2008, 04:08 PM

How did all of you realize it was time to get in shape?

I want to motivate my gf to workout. I bought her a membership for valentines day she can only go 3 times a week though, *Sunday, Monday and Friday* is that enough?
Anyway, she hasn't stayed very committed to that schedule.

She went to the doctors for a checkup and found out she has gained almost 8 pounds. She didn't believe it so she used my scale as well.. it was correct. Anyway she looks at me with her shirt lifted up and says "Ugh.. I need to lose weight" and I reply "I think you look great, but if it would make you happy you could come to the gym with me more often and we can write you out a healthier eating plan" <- - good, right? I avoided a slap to the face lol.

The thing about her is about every 3 months I hear this same speech "I think I'm gonna start gettin in shape, no more fast food" the next day I call her and shes eating mcdonalds and her excuse "Well, my dad brought it for dinner and there was nothing else to eat" I don't complain.. then she will say something like "Well.. this week is my last week of fast food, then im done"

Shes about 5'7" 139lbs. To be honest she is not a fat person or a chubby person. Shes got the weight in all the right places.. her booty

and her chest. The only problem spot is the abdomen and its not very big but I can notice some growth in that area.

What the heck do I do? She knows the gym is a major part of my life and living a healthy life style is important to me.

**tooncesthecat** · March 9th, 2008, 04:38 PM

I think you summed it up in the last sentence, the gym and living a healthy lifestyle is important to you. You'll never make her go to the gym or eat better. You can ask her to do these things. You can explain why these things are good for her. You can let her know it's important to you that she join you in doing these things. But ultimately, it's her choice!

As for the "problem spot" in her abdomen...that's the one spot almost all women have a little pooch. I've seen this on women who are toned quite well everywhere else. It's just how things work!

Be very careful about discussing her weight! You'll get your ass kicked faster than you can run! You might approach it more from an angle of health. Expalin how crappy her arteries and heart will be if she eats too much fast food. ALso, sit down and physically write down a plan. You might want to make this go in stages as it is unlikely she will be able to change 100% overnight. Make some short term and long term goals. For example, allow a certain number of fast food meals each week, with a long term goal of once or twice per month. Set a goal of going to the gym twice per week with a long term goal of going 4-5 times per week. Remember, she didn't learn her bad habits overnight...she can't be expected to learn good habits overnight either.

**wildstang** · March 9th, 2008, 05:22 PM

also adding to toons theory about the crappy food use cancer 2 your advantage 2 letting her know all the preservatives and such used in todays fast food, junk food have been known to speed up the possability of getting cancer sooner.
and yes women when they ask am i fat? make sure you think about your response b-4 opening your mouth in reply....lol

**gYmgIrL** · March 9th, 2008, 07:14 PM

Yeah getting into shape is something you have to want to do 100%, and it doesnt look like she really wants to. More she wants to look awesome without trying! hehe

I also have the pooch problem! i call it smiley face fat! its just annoying because women put their fat on in little pockets so you can be rock hard everywhere else just still be a little squishy under your belly button. I think its something to protect your womans parts or something

stupid womens parts!

Anyway, took me a looooooooooooooooooooooong time to be a disciplined as I am now. and a long time to want to! and i still question it from time to time!

This might be how its going to happen with your lady too!

I was stick skinny up until i hit 21, then i put went from a size 6 australia to a size 10 in 3 months. I think the american equvalent is a 2 to a 6. 6 still isnt big! but in comparison to waht I was used to and in such a short amount of time, I went to the gym freaked out!

Started doing weights and cardio, decided I wanted my cool tummy back and figured that was the way to do it, then I saw how cool my arms looked when I was holding a weight. Then I came on here and saw how cool the Fitness Babes looked... all the time, and decided I wanted to look like them!

The next two years were spent diciplining myself to not eat maccas just because my dad had bought it. And I still find it tough to say no to that sort of stuff. I tried pushing myself to hard, being too soft, giving up and loosing all progress, starting all over again. Changing my sleep patterns and work like and after-work social things.

MY whole life has changed to look like I do now. and stand me next to someone else and I dont exactly seem outstanding. People who dont care about fitness would really question if all that hard work was worth it.

But it is.

So I wouldnt expect that it will be easy for her, and it will take a long time, and you will have to be supportive, and she will have setbacks, but she has to do it for her and her only, otherwise it will be riddled with fail and tears and difficulty in your relationship. And i can tell that you'd much rather she stayed like she is now then have that happen.

If she does wanna start getting serious, let me help ok?

xxxxxx
GG

**sleepyles** · March 9th, 2008, 07:43 PM

So this is important to you in terms of fitness. But besides you buying her a gym membership for valentine's day, are you going to the gym with her? When I go to the gym, I physically lift up my fiance to go, so I don't hear her whining and complaining that she is fat, and her comparing herself to other women. Offering her to come won't make her go to the gym. She complains that she is fat, but really she isn't. Also I do some/ most of the cooking so the diet is handled for the most part.

Eating McDonald's isn't that bad. Just kidding, I used to eat like two combos for dinner when I was playing football in college, but continued that after I stopped playing, and then I ballooned up to over 300 pounds.

When you guys are together do some physical activities, instead of just watching TV and movies, etc. Go rollerblading, biking, etc. Slowly get her into fitness. I started getting my fiance to come biking with me last year, and now she enjoyed it, she comes to the gym, but it is a struggle at times. The only day she doesn't come is when I do circuit training, since I am there for awhile, and I don't like to be rushed.

**theatrain** · March 9th, 2008, 08:20 PM

Thanks for everyones responses and help and I'm gonna talk to her about it see what her goals are and how serious she wants to be.

For me, this type of lifestyle is not so hard. Maybe because I am not as disciplined as some of you. I mean, I workout very hard but when it comes to diet I haven't had to make many sacrifices, I don't eat fast food because I don't like it very much anyway so maybe that's why it hasn't been hard for me to give it up and as for the rest of my diet I just make sure not to eat anything bad for me. I don't take it as far as having a strict blain diet but I do make small choices here and there that I have noticed made a huge difference. Went from almost 190lbs 23% body fat to now 170lbs 16% body fat and I haven't had to make as drastic diet changes as some think they have to. I've found it was really the small things that helped... choosing 2% milk over whole, grabbing a bottled water rather than a coke.. Wheat bread on my sandwiches rather than white.. Etc

**MissytroN** · March 11th, 2008, 09:18 AM

Wow some really great posts in here. Well, I agree wholeheartedly with u all, and I especially can relate to where gYmgIrl is coming from!

Its sweet of you to want to buy her a gym membership, and it would definately help if you went with her and supported her, however, it is ultimately her choice wheher she wants to stick with it or not. To me, it sounds like she's just procrastinating at the moment, I think once she goes and gets into it, and starts feeling better, she just needs to make it a routine. So maybe just get her off the couch with you every so often like sleepyles does lol, she'll be grateful inthe long run!

Hope I helped?!

**gunshowbabe** · March 11th, 2008, 09:53 AM

One thing I've learned is I'll start tomorrows, next weeks, next months, and next years dont' work. (hmm, I'm going to make that my new quote- teehee

)If you are motivated you feel you have no time to waste so you get on it that same day. It took me a long time to get to where I recognize the rights foods and I have self control and discipline, I was never over weight but I was not healthy. I am so proud of everything I've learned and how far I've come. One thing that has helped me a good bit would be my fiance and his support and guidance, he was my rock throughout the begining of this whole lifestyle. Eventhough I didn't even know him when I started and although I thought I knew it all, once I met him I learned a lot and he gave me enough motivation to keep on going and want to do better... so with that said, I think you can do the same until she realizes it on her own.

I have one question... Who does the grocery shopping and are you on a well balanced diet? It may be easier for her to make a transition when she knows what to eat, so you may have to guide her, that's all. Most women feel intimidated too because they don't know what to do in the gym so make sure to let her know you will take the time to help her... Keep reminding her it's something that SHE WANTS TO DO too... she's already mentioned it before and let her know how you think it's importnant too. Let her know that's what you would like. Maybe we are different but I would want to make my fiance happy and proud of me so if he has something say to me and especially something that will benefit me and my health I will do the best I can. Don't let her jump in all the way but little by little... sometimes when people want something and think it's too hard, they go the other direction because to them it's worth it or easier to do. Show her how to eat and start her out with cardio. ALWAYS let her know how proud you are. Once she is used to her routine have her start lifting weights to build her shape. Yeah- it's importnant to you, but if it's important to you it should to her too (that's what a relationship is)... it will help you stop resenting that about her too.

**sleepyles** · March 11th, 2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunshowbabe

One thing I've learned is I'll start tomorrows, next weeks, next months, and next years dont' work. (hmm, I'm going to make that my new quote- teehee

)If you are motivated you feel you have no time to waste so you get on it that same day. It took me a long time to get to where I recognize the rights foods and I have self control and discipline, I was never over weight but I was not healthy. I am so proud of everything I've learned and how far I've come. One thing that has helped me a good bit would be my fiance and his support and guidance, he was my rock throughout the begining of this whole lifestyle. Eventhough I didn't even know him when I started and although I thought I knew it all, once I met him I learned a lot and he gave me enough motivation to keep on going and want to do better... so with that said, I think you can do the same until she realizes it on her own.

I have one question... Who does the grocery shopping and are you on a well balanced diet? It may be easier for her to make a transition when she knows what to eat, so you may have to guide her, that's all. Most women feel intimidated too because they don't know what to do in the gym so make sure to let her know you will take the time to help her... Keep reminding her it's something that SHE WANTS TO DO too... she's already mentioned it before and let her know how you think it's importnant too. Let her know that's what you would like. Maybe we are different but I would want to make my fiance happy and proud of me so if he has something say to me and especially something that will benefit me and my health I will do the best I can. Don't let her jump in all the way but little by little... sometimes when people want something and think it's too hard, they go the other direction because to them it's worth it or easier to do. Show her how to eat and start her out with cardio. ALWAYS let her know how proud you are. Once she is used to her routine have her start lifting weights to build her shape. Yeah- it's importnant to you, but if it's important to you it should to her too (that's what a relationship is)... it will help you stop resenting that about her too.

WOW. . . .Now that is a reality check right there!

**MissytroN** · March 12th, 2008, 12:29 AM

Tell it like it is sista!!!! xx

**Italianangel** · March 25th, 2008, 02:03 PM

with me it was recovery from anorexic behaviours, used that same determination it takes to starve or purge and put it toward a hunger for muscle although it started as a small hunger and as I achieved my goals I upped the goals. I notice I am very lazy if I don't have a goal and plan, I have things to work around which drain me of life and energy so I tend to not workout or bother with diet unless I have that goal and plan to achieve it, then no matter what happens in my surroundings and soap opera of a life, I have that to keep me on track.
Kinda in that place right now.........need a solid goal and been deciding on which for a few weeks so my diet has been poor, lacking more than anything, not so much baaaad foods or crap but not enough calories nor protein and bare minimal traning/cardio/etc.........

Linda