So frustrated!!!!

[gYmgIrL]

Hello!

I'm highly, extremely emotional at the moment, so that might be all it is (not time of month, just so much going on!) and this morning at the gym, right, I broke a thousand of my records, 8 close hand pulls ups fully extending at the end and fully controlled, 60 kilos on the lat pull down (close hand of course) and this one girl who's my friend was really impressed cause its her goal to do one pull up right.. but she's more muscular and weighs less than me! and this other lady (who is gorgeous and lovely!) does shoulder raises with 5kilos... and her shoulders are bigger than mine!

I dont understand, I'm eating better than these people, lifting heavier and smarter with better form, i go to the gym more often than them and I rest enough and do all the right things, and have been for 3 years, and yet I still look like I've never seena gym in my life! and yet other people can sneeze and get buff from it!

Its just SO frustrating.

And then of course, I think 'oh I've got to eat more' and then i do, and put on some fat and go completely obsesso over it just because when you twist a certain way you can see a line in the side of your back I mean come onnnn Geeg. /me slaps herself.

And there is absolutely nothing on the internet about female hardgainers, and it wouldnt be so bad if my ass and thighs didnt still hold fat you know, but I seem to have the blurst (worst) of both worlds!

UGGGHHHHHHHH

Ok, vent over.

I got so much stressy crap going on at the moment though (that isnt even bad, just feeling overwhelmed), and no one to talk to, so if any ones bored and wouldnt mind lending an ear I would be soooooo, sooooo grateful. Then i can put it all on paper and realize its not so tough!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[tooncesthecat]

Hey GG

Couple of thoughts come to mind...

First, are you eating enough? You know the drill...how much protein are you getting? Are you eating every 3 hours? Are you getting plenty of GOOD fats like fish oil, almonds, cashews, or others? If you are trying to put on some mass, you need some good carbs too...oatmeal, brown rice, all the veggies you can eat and, what the heck, some good ol' pasta and bread.

Second, sometimes genetics are a factor. Let me give you a fun example from last Sunday...I went to an afternoon seminar to teach posing techniques. A head judge from the NPC was going to be there with some of the trainers from my gym, blah, blah, blah. Well, to make a long story shorter, I was the only guy there! So I HAD to endure a couple of hours of girls who were getting ready for a contest in a couple of weeks practice their routines So I'm sitting there critiquing these girls (really, I was!) and I noticed one girl in particular. She had it all going on...nice legs, nice abs, good shoulders and arms, nice defined back. Only problem she had was a "soft" and kind of "flabby" butt and back thighs. Now it's not like she hadn't been doing the working out, diet, and cardio. There's no way she could be that tight everywhere if she were a slacker. But I think her DNA just didn't want her backside to be buff.

Point is, I'm not saying you're stuck with your situation. You might have to work harder to get where you want to be than some people. Conversely, there are TONS of women who wish they looked as good as you So keep the faith, do what's right for YOU and it will happen!

[IMFREAKZILLA]

I lifted weights for a ton of years,I feel your pain and I am gonna say this 'you can only take
what GOD has given you ..just so far,reps,poundage,eating right,supps,rest,etc ,there are
always gonna be people=compared to YOU,bigger,stronger,faster ,its just the way it is.

In simple terms its called genetics,some have big legs,some have big shoulders,etc
some are gonna be stronger at certain exercises,its just inevitable,when you learn
to be the best YOU can be,and not worry about others around you ,you'll become
a happy 'gym freak',no one can take your body to the limit but you and thats all the
further it can go,be happy with what you have and what you have obtained ,don't
stress yourself out about others,others poundage,and what THEY have obtained,
you know what ,good for them,hang in there and be happy with what you have no
two people are alike,see its like this maybe this person has bigger shoulders but then
maybe you are better at other things,and I am not talking about the gym,maybe music
or whatever your hobbies are.Do the best you can be in the gym,do the best you can
with other things also!

[PurfectTom]

Reality check needed here - else you'll be bound to get upset at finding someone with better manicured nails, longer thinner fingers, better ear lobes or whatever – it's the overall package that counts (not just including the physical but the personality too). You are fantastically well buffed, no model/bodybuilder/person is the world's best in all respects. To make good with what you have available takes intelligence, heart and dedication (none of the later having been proven yet to be genetically predetermined). Finally to pose like a lead-balloon wins no competitions, so grace and personality again important to "carry off" what you have. Anyway cheer up and take comfort :-)

[ProfGumby]

Hang in there sweet thing!

And please, try not to compare yourself to others. You are only going to frustrate yourself. And as has been mentioned before, try and reassess your diet and regimen. You'll get there. I know you can do it, everyone here knows you can do it.

[bouncer]

You are having a bad couple of days! You need to remember there are women that would die to have your body, and level of fitness. You don't look like a gym noob either. Have some dark chocolate. Perhaps a glass of wine. Smile. We dig you.

[Hans_Rachid]

I'm not really good at comforting people so I'll skip that part

As you suggested, I bet you're not eating enough. In fact, judging from some of the diets you posted, I wouldn't be surprised if you've been under eating for the past 3 years. Not the ideal anabolic environment, obviously. With your level activity, are you not burning ~2500 kcal every day, while barely consuming 2000? If you're in a calorie deficit, you're not gonna grow, period. You'll get leaner until a certain point, which will make you look more muscular, but you won't put on muscle, and you won't be able to get past a certain level of leanness with a slowed down metabolism.

Also, you say that as soon as you ramp up the calories you end up storing some fat and can't stand it, but on the one hand I think your mind likes to play tricks with you, and on the other if you want to put on more muscle mass you might have to accept to gain a bit of fat momentarily. If you eat clean, it should be minimal.

Anyway, I might be wrong with all of this, but it's my gut feeling.

What do you think? Am I totally off the track or is there any truth to this?

[joey9]

Originally Posted by gYmgIrL

this morning at the gym, I broke a thousand of my records...

this one girl who's my friend was really impressed cause its her goal to do one pull up right.. but she's more muscular and weighs less than me!

It sounds like everything is going smashingly well with strength gains, but not so much with self-image issues.

I think that part of beauty, part of physical attractiveness, is being able to love ourselves just the way we are.

People who radiate a kind of magnetic attractiveness are not always the ones with the "most perfect" physical body, but they have an acceptance of themselves that we find attractive.

Some day, if we're lucky, we'll live long enough for our body to possibly become weaker and more wrinkled. I remember hearing a story about a woman who was a "pin-up girl" and a movie star many decades ago, but when she got older she was not happy with her appearance and so she became extremely reclusive and never saw anyone, just hid in her expensive home.

I think while we're working on our physical fitness and health, we should take care not to become like that movie star, and try to keep a sense of humor about some of this.

[lizzyb]

I totally agree with the above mentioned......check diet, and check yourself! Like everything else in life, great things happen when we are not trying so hard.......nevermind what EVERBODY ELSE is doing or how THEY are looking, unless THEY are an exact clone of your own self, then their results and methods really have NOTHING to do with YOU!
Do the best with what YOU HAVE and you will have the BEST YOU...........EVER!! I promise

[gYmgIrL]

Haha Bouncer! Sounds pretty good to me!! !

Thanks guys for all your help! I know all about the fact that I'm not eating enough, even though I'm trying! and the fact taht genetics plays a big part and other people and their progress has nothing to do with me. And I know that I already look good and am happy with how I look, and the rest of me is pretty good too, I was just venting frustration, that something that I'm trying so hard to achieve can be achieved by other people with little to no effort! It's frustrating!

What I was kiiinda looking for was a "yeah i know! Doesnt it suck! You put in soooo much effort and someone else just sneezes and they get buff"

It's the same with men, you suck being able to gain mass so much more easily than women. YOU SUCK!

I just took that gender brain test, and I am more over to the woman side than men, so I guess what i need is sympathy (or jut someone to understand), not a solution :P

there is no logic involved in this rant! :P

On the logical side though! It's my b-day in a couple of weeks and I'm getting a guy to help me out with my diet! he trains people that win competitions so that should be cool! as long as he's not too spensive

Thanks everyone for your support and wisdom, love you all lots!


xxxx

Geeeg

[ItalianStallion]

keep doin what ur doin..it'll work out because it shows..we all appreciate you for ur wisdom n personality..ur looks r just a bonus!!!...n what a bonus it is

[xtreme-bodies]

omg - I feel the SAME WAY lol soo weird, but im a guy - even though we look and feel better than most, its all in our heads, just keep it up!

[Old_Fart2]

I used to be a hard gainer and it sucked; now I'm a hard loser and it sucks, too. But I've decided life is too short to stress over either one. So I just eat relatively clean, lift weights and enjoy my wine and occasional Margaritas and ice cream.