When will I Just do it?

[wantitbad]

Hi,

I used to kickbox and work out with weights 6 days per week; i thought I loved it; I did a great job getting into shape, for example, when I began working out, I could only squat the 40 lb bar and I increased to 250 lbs @ 6 reps I believe..I Was beyond excited when I accomplished that.

When I first began working out, it was horrible you know just exhausting and painful and akward, and when I got over the beginner hump and really hit the ground running, I was impressed and amazed. I swore up and down that I never ever would quit working out again because I never ever want to go through the PAINS of being a beginner.

then just like that...I freaking stopped...just stopped, just like that. Nevertheless, I have since gained in two years approximately 65 lbs. I am on a doctor diet and lost 16 lbs in 9 weeks or so.

I have a complete to die for gym in my garage: free weights, bowflex and bowflex dial weights, weight bench, bike, treadmill, 50 lb bag, ballet bar w/mirror, jump ropes, speed bag and Yoga junk out the ying yang... but I will not use it. I just don't go out there and use it. It is so rediculous. I want to be muscular and strong again; I hate being fat so much that I have allowed it to completly ruin my life.

I don't go out; I don't work; I will not date; I will not see friends...argh!!!

I am on the stupidest downward spiral of my life for about 5 months now, and I want my life back, but I feel like I can't get my life going until I work out, but I will not work out. I fight with myself everyday. I also drink now probably to forget about my internal arguments about not working out and wanting to work out.

Anyway, bottom line, how do I make myself workout and when will I WANT to work out or will I always feel like it will be a battle to force myself to do it.

Life is such a pain in the ass always having to do things I don't want to do, so I don't want to add to my aggravation, I want to WANT TO work out and I WANT TO LOVE working out...

How do I accomplish these??? Please Help me~I want to look so fabulous! so muscular and just plain awesome. thanks.
Shelly...ps I am 40 and In absolutely great medical condition just not pshychologically sound...heheheh...just kidding.

[tellico]

Forget your garage gym for now- as long as you dread something you won't do it. Do something new. Go for a walk. pack some water, a snack, and a camera in a tiny pack and go to a national park for a 1/2 day on the weekend, hiking trails. You can get your heart rate up without noticing, especially if you live in an area with uneven ground. Take a dog along. It is fun to explore trails, and more motivating if you have a destination in mind (ex, going to see a rock formation, etc).

go for a kayak trip- it's fun and beautiful, but if you actually move along at a decent pace and have someone show you how to paddle, it is a good core ab/back workout. And it keeps you away from food and drinks (bring water, you know what I mean).

Go dancing at some outrageous club you would never go to otherwise. If you like hip hop, go to a country western club- yes, by yourself- and learn new dances and dance all night, without the scruntiny of people you know (or would normally seek out to know). If you like C/W, go hip hop, or my fav, go to a Latin club! Try to go light on the alcohol on dance nights, limit yourself to the obligatory 1 drink to get your dance shoes on. And who cares? you don't know anyone there, so have a good time without needing the booze "dance lessons"

As you get more active, your body will start to look forward to the activity, and you can then try out some of your garage equipment again!

Get an mp3 player, load it with an ebook, and listen only when you are walking/jogging/biking/hiking/active in some form. You'll work out just to find out what happens next in the story.

Not usually a fan of magazines, but last night I picked up the December Fitness on a whim- you should check out the article on p. 65, it talks about the connection between exercise and your mood/emotions.

Good luck! And good for you fror caring about yourself!

[justaguy87337]

I am by no means an expert (on anything) but you sound alot like my wife, she wants to work out, but she won't. She always finds an excuse not to. I think her problem is she is self coincious of how she looks now and figures it will never go away, and she wants quick results. I also think it is also do to some form of depression. We have started her out slow by taking walks and then getting on the tread mill and once she is comfortable I will start taking her back to the gym.

[wantitbad]

Great advice tellico and thanks for taking the time to help me out; it actually felt wonderful reading the responses.

just a guy, wow reading your info made me even realize other things as well and yes depression is 99% of my whole problem; i have a couple friends that say to go on medication, and i say all that will do is put a mask over it and I will never get out of my own way. I truly believe I will be fine if I exercise. It is chemically and physically a guarantee for me. I will have confidence, i willl have endorphins, I will be healthier...and on and on. the only drug i need is a kick in the a... to get moving.

I hate how i look; i hate how it feels when i work out..i just feel all excess fat moving around and instead of enjoying a workout i just loath it one hour or 30 minutes of hating myself, how i feel and what i let happen to myself.

cardio is my killer because of this issue i have. i actually enjoy weights, but when i started my diet the dr said no weights because mentally i will not handle the scale not going down even though my measurements may reduce.

i have to agree, but i think i will just have to weight lift, bike and kick box because the walking, running sets me off a cliff so to speak.

believe it or not, i fully love love love weight lifting; it is beyond empowering while i am doing it and the rush i get the rest of the day is phenomenal.

i just want to want to do it. i want to run to it like i used to go crazy to go out dancing. that sick hurry up gotta have it or do it feeling. i want that back,and i just don't have it.

i never left the living room today, and i know it is completely becuase i hate where i let myself get and what i will have to go through, again, to just get started.

then on the other side of me i say you know what it is done; stop it; you let yourself go; it is over, you are on your way 16 or so lbs down already men are actually coming out of the woodwork where ever i do go acting all interested in me and everthing, but i just don't see it or see how it can be.

i went on a psudo date last night just because one of the ac/dc guys was making an appearance, but after being there a while and meeting all of his friends both girls and guys, i had to leave i couldn't take it; i felt so bad for him that he was with me that i actually apologized to him for not looking good enough, and i told him that i hoped that i didn't embarass him.

how sick is that. as it came out of my mouth i was pathetically hopeless, but it is how i felt.

how sad is that. i left because all the other women were in shape. well not because of them because of me.

other than pregnant and now, i have never been larger/bigger than a size 0 or 2 skinny but light on the muscles just lean.

this is so mental it is not even funny, but i have to say reading just these two posts and me putting my info out there for others to assist me has already increased a couple of endorphins tonight.

i guess my fear is to suffer to begin and not stay with it like last time which i was just going from skinny to muscular and in shape but this time it is whew getting rid of a lot of fat...argh.

well i guess i am on my way because i asked for help. maybe tomorrow i will dust off the equipment and see what it is i can do. no not maybe i will!!

I just want to look so beyond awesome like the girls that are professional and compete that it seems like i am just reaching at the stars far out of my grasp.

forget all that right, one day at a time will get me there.

i just wish that the deep seeded desire that i have to wish wish wish to have that awessome body will be the same feeling to do what it takes in exercise.

This IS ONE thing i can NOT pay someone to do FOR ME; even if I did have money; I have to do it MYSELF...argh! i just want to WANT to do it and LOVE it.

thanks so much for all the information.

[Hans_Rachid]

It seems to me like you really want to get back in shape but you're afraid of trying and failing. Fuck that ! Just do it and enjoy it, there's no reason to be afraid. It's just a mental barrier you've created but has no reason to be. Once you begin the process of getting back in shape, don't worry too much about the numbers on the scale, simply eat clean and train, looking forward to each workout, and then you'll see results.

If you could find a friend that is motivated to workout you could both train together and motivate eachother to not skip sessions. I personnally train with a friend and it helps me because sometimes I'm a bit tired or not in the mood to workout by myself but I'll go to the gym anyway as to not let my friend down.

[Insex]

First off, welcome to EF wantitbad. I hope you find all the information and motivation you'll ever need, from our forums.

I think your only real issue is motivation. You say you want to get back into working out to look good and feel great. But so far, you haven't done anything yet; and I think that's because you don't have a reason or purpose in mind.

Let me explain myself to help you understand what I'm talking about:

I'm a 24-year old man. Back when I was a young boy, I played sports (mostly football) for fun. When I began high school, I chose to continue playing football, because I had a purpose in mind:

I wanted to play football at USC.

I worked my butt off for a chance to become a Trojan. I gave up many things that "normal" kids do, like going out on dates and having parties, just to give myself the best chance I had to reach my goal. To give you an example, I did not attend any of my high school dances, not even my senior prom. Instead, on the night of each dance, I went to the gym and punished myself by lifting weights until midnight. The end result, I almost got the chance to live my dream, but I fell short of making it. Today, I regret not going to any of my high school dances. If I could go back in time, I would've asked out every girl I could. But that's another story for another time. The point that I'm trying to make here is that I had a purpose for playing football and for spending all that time in the gym.

I think your problem is you haven't given yourself a purpose or a reason to start working out again. Do you play any sports? Are you a model? Are you preparing yourself for any figure, fitness, or bodybuilding competitions coming up? Look at all the people around you. There's a reason why collegiate and professional athletes look great (I'm talking about real athletes here, not golfers or race car drivers). Because it's their job.

I think it's safe to say that almost everyone in America has participated in some form of organized sports at one point in their lives. Once people graduate from high school or college, they enter the workforce. Once they start working full-time, they don't have time to play sports because they're working their jobs all day. They are also stressed out from their jobs so much, that they begin to lose interest in playing sports or staying physically active. The point I'm trying to make here is that after high school or college, people don't have a reason to workout anymore, and thus, become out of shape.

You already have access to weights and exercise equipment. I'm assuming that you also live in a healthy environment and have access to trails, parks, or someplace where you can go outside and run. I'm also assuming that you have access to a nearby supermarket to acquire healthy foods from. Finally, you have access to this forum and the internet, with infinite information on how to exercise correctly, eat healthy, and so on. The only thing you don't have is a reason or a purpose to start working out again.

My suggestion: enter yourself in a women's figure competition. I know the idea sounds a little crazy, but I think you should do it. Right now is the perfect time, because the off-season is coming to a close and the season for physique competitions will begin soon. Figure competitions for the most part are pretty simple. You just have to be in good conditition, walk around on stage, and smile! By signing yourself up for a competition, you will give yourself a reason to workout, you will give yourself a purpose for eating healthy, and ultimately all your hard work will pay off when you step out on that stage.

There are many organizations out there that have women's physique competitions (figure, fitness, and bodybuilding). I want you to give it some serious thought. It's not expensive to sign up for one (although the posing suit might be expensive, but you'll have to ask the ladies around here). Either you can look for one yourself, or I can look for one for you that is around your area. I myself am a bodybuilder now, and this is how I got into bodybuilding. After I retired from football, I wanted to remain physically competitive in some sort of sport. So I signed up for a drug-free bodybuilding competition last year, and the rest is history.

"Many have the will to win. Few have the will to prepare to win."

Hope that helps.

[wantitbad]

wow, Hans and Insex beyond many thanks. Each of you bring to light awesome thoughts and ideas.

I need a purpose; I need a purpose. Thank You.

That is right because most of my friends either over weight or in perfect shape keep asking me why am I suffering over this for so long with diet and hopes of exercise. They all keep saying men aren't worth it becuase it didn't help me find a guy when i was in great shape all these years, and i seem to keep defending myself that itis not the reason to get in to shape. not for a guy or to get one.

i want it for me, but you are right, for me but why. i will ponder this one. thanks.

[justaguy87337]

good luck to you wantitbad I think you are on the right track