Wetting My Toes @ Canadian Nationals CBBF/IFBB

[Italianangel]

So I am officially now a member of the CBBF and will be competing under them as they are the next level up from out Provincial body, BCABBA.

I have come full circle since 1996. I began my competition career in 1996 after first getting serious into weights in 1994, previous to that I had only dabbled and was more into gymnastics, breakdance/jazz/ballet/hiphop and was chunky!
I was 25 my first time, white, no coloring, had no idea, no posing, stood there like I was the grocery store and stared out into the audience like a deer in headlights! I made 3rd place out of 3 girls my first show!

At that time Fitness was very raw, had come out in the late 80s and got bigger in the early 90s. It was still very new when I began.
I qualified for the BCs that year and competed in 1996 or 1997 for the BCS, cannot recall off hand, and qualfied for the BC national team, again near the end of the placings. Was among 10 girls. I was prepping for this National show, no clue what I was in store for, same nationals I am doing in 3 weeks…..BUT…

3 weeks out from nationals, I tore my ACL completely. Was unable to go, was blacklisted for canceling out and then when I went back in 1999 to try again, I was blacklisted and placed last at every show, then told I was blacklisted AFTER I had paid, entered and showed up.
I went on to cross compete and test all federations, classes and shows.
In this process I attained several natural pro cards in Fitness, Figure, Obstacle and Fitness Model category as well as trying out some strength/fitness contests and doing well.

I have spent an avg accumulation of $50,000 in the past 12 years competing.
I have won an avg of $2000 competing, plus some prizes.
I was sponsored a few times and am presently a PVL sponsored athlete.

There are all new people now running the show and new sets of politics but happily I am now at the next level with more new politics and happy to be there and moving forward.

So my competition career has come full circle and here I go off to Nationals years later…….ironic? Destiny! This is the last pro card I need for my collection and I am going to enjoy my journey attaining and not rush it, I want to earn this but do it FAIR and as a natural.

I nailed my routine in the prejudge so check it out!

YouTube - fitness routine Linda Cusmano 08

[varbo]

I'm sure I can speak for the members here when I Say that we'll be rooting for you. Where are nationals?

[wil]

DANG!!!! You got blacklisted even after an injury!!!!! That's just wrong.

[Italianangel]

Its in New Westminister at the Massey Theater on Aug 9th.
I was actually blacklisted for cross competing, they banned members and it was in the rules so I am not innocent, I just did not agree........apparently this is no longer the case, not in the rules or in any writing anyway........

[A1food4U]

Boy, what a mess. It takes a quality individual to stay the coarse and after all of that, you hung on to your pride and goals. Well Well done. You certainly seem a force to be reconned with.

[tooncesthecat]

Linda, the moves you do in that video are incredible! I am always amazed at how effortless you make those moves. Super strength and agility and all with a smile Incredible!

[lizzyb]

Wow, wow and more wow!!! What a great story! I mean really, the dedication, drive and as you've said yourself the expense you yourself have invested over the years! That's what's so special about you and it comes through in all you do too. You do it because you love it and in turn it is what drives you! That's called passion!

Great routine too, great energy and presence......I'd be all thumbs and left feet if it were me, lol!!

Once again congrats!!

[vanessa40]

Good Morning Linda,
Love the video. You move great. I admire anyone who competes. I look foward to following along.. Good Luck..

[Italianangel]

Okay so now I am a few days out, less than a week and feeling great, tight, and lean.
I am at about 110lbs, I hate that number but it seems to be the one which goes with the leanest me so we will have to work this year at bringing that up by 10lbs, I seriously want to gain 5-10lbs this year, regardless of my back!

My problem is I get cocky, I get relaxed then I end up missing a few months in the year of training and diet an during those months I lose precious muscle gained prev. and lose time of gaining more. I am going to stay consistent this year to make sure next year - whatever show I do, I come in even harder with more muscle mass. I want to make people question if I am a natural because my size borders on that look...........yet still be a natural, so there is my goal, always been but it seems now I am much more focused and things are into play which will help me.
I have a running kitchen now, where as from 93 to 07 I was in a small room with dogs and my man, had to share a kitchen and because of circumstances did not want to run into my mom since I care for her and most of the times she is 'self induced' sick..................which is 90% of the time. So it was tense, I used a hotplate, lived in a room and under a ton of stresses.

Lets just say it was like a Cinderella story except she aint my step mom she is my real mom.
My dad passed on 89 and left no will, she tried to liquidate the home so that I could not get any and also liquidated any funds he has put away which was out of country - that money is gone and to pursue it would be pointless plus my mom tends to have 'heart attacks' when she is upset....or strokes....although non so far have been legit.........but its all past now, my name is now on the home, she is too old and does not want me to leave so I now have a top floor of this 3 level home.

My environment is ideal now, I have a tread, cycle, bench, weights and working on a weight room in my basement while still fixing the home, my mom did not do much fixing - she is useless for that, my dad did all that so she was clueless and only wanted her rent, kinda like a slum lord although now we only have tenant in part of our bsmnt, so we have been incurring those debts and such......but its not a loss as long as my name is there so I won't lose my part.

My mom still gets sick 'self induced' but because I now have some outside gvt help, she cannot binge as harshly. I wish i could sue her dr............he gave her all these sedative narcotic anti depressants back in 89........meds which are to be weened off after 3 mths and it says so when you read you read up on these drugs, you would think the dr would know this....I seem to know more than he does or he simply does not care since he does not live with her so he keeps dealing her more narcots.......here she is 20 years later still on them, more of them and lots and she drinks, takes 3 t3s at a time for her pains and he knows it! Its has bee a 20 year battle and a HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS! Her pains are mostly side effects, many of them......although she has legitimate health issues too.

Imagine dealing with a teenage but having no power to stop them from killing or hurting themselves - no power to ground them or such......I cannot tell my mom what to do and she denies it even when proven drunk by ER blood tests the times she fell and got hurt and I had to call ambulance or take her to er.

Soooooooo anyway my point is I feel that I can focus more on me and my goals more fully now where as before I had so many things AGAINST my training including my other half setting me up for sabatoge with foods and fights.........but he too is now in a better place and has accepted my career and of course he is less stressed now too in our living situation.

Now when my mom falls I can longer pick her up, due to my back but she also ends up messing herself and bleeding all over the place which my guy is a bit squeemish over....well the poop and such is not so bad, just stinky and in helping her it gets all over you but taht only happens when she is right hopped up so like anyone else who would be as drunk and drugged as she was, you defaecate yourself...........up to now I always did pick her up and not bring my guy into it, with her dead weight of 170 lbs off the floor......now I have to get my guy to do it when it happens and watching him do it makes me just so much more aware of what I was doing, how much I was lifting, he struggles with her.........and he is very strong.

So this year has been the beginning of many new opportunities for me to have a much more peaceful journey toward my future in general......even so the circumstances are not ideal, I am at peace with what I cannot control including finding her bleeding and such which I used to fear so much but i has happened so many times now I stopped resisting it as I cannot control it..............and it happened she fell so badly a few times now with such a high dope level and booze level that the senior psychiatry is helping a bit, but they can only suggest things like day programs at senior programs where they are in hospital and clubs where there is medical staff.
Because of these 'outing' days, she cannot binge nightly, she knows she has somewhere to be the next day and they call her to follow up in the morning as well and if she tries not to go in they have me to 'fink' on her.......of course no one can stop her but she is an older mentality and immigrant so she can be intimated a bit.........which is sad but hey, whatever it takes to keep her on the better path for both her and me............it is such a handful. She can drink as early as lunch and be drunk by 2pm! if it was just booze it would not be so bad but when she mixes its so bad and she loses bodily functions.

I am sure some of you can relate somehow.
And then people wonder why after 17 years we have no kids..............been taking care of my mom, a big problem child!!! I prefer dogs anyway.

So anyway, I feel good, sorry to purge all that.....but its like I am setting my thoughts here so bare with me.

This picture below and my new avatar was taken last night. I feel right on par.........or at least as best as I can be for this show. I will shoot a few friday night after I get colored up.

Sandra Wickham has been quite supportive of me and very helpful which is not my past experiences with her, it was very very pleasant. She has a team who does the spray jan tana and assured me the formula is ph balanced and such so no more GREEN me, I used jan tana many years ago and stopped due to the green shades it would go on myskin, because of my sweat and the meds I use.

OKAY BOYZ AND GIRLS, KEEP SENDING MY POSITIVE VIBES, PRAYERS, AND TONS OF GREAT LOVING LUCK!!!!
I am going up against the best of the best here, I am so excited and have been enjoying this so far and am especially happy of the timing with this one, NO PMS!!!
Linda

[A1food4U]

Leave all that other baggage behind you for just two weeks. Nothing you can do that hasn't already been done and it'll just way you down. And I say two weeks to give you time to enjoy the fruits of your labor, which in looking at the new pic's I am sure will be a very high placing. You continue to unfold for us here in amazing ways. Your proof that environment is only part of what forms us. You have rissen above so much, it's time to enjoy the "you" it has produced. I'm sure all the ladies here at EF that you mentor would agree. Congratulations, not on the contest, but for shrugging off the chains around you. I am awed....

p.s. Give that man a kiss, I'm not sure there are many who would be that strong for you, he deserves an "atta boy" as well....

[lizzyb]

Wow.......first off, let me just commend you on ALL of your hard work, both in your own personal life, and as well as professionally! A1 couldn't have summed it up better really.....I read what you shared about yur life and my heart sank for what you've had to endure with an addicted parent....that's tough stuff....I know. I have a mom who is sober 36yrs....good on you my dear for finding the courage to push beyond the ties that bind and allow yourself to live for YOU!! Letting go is not an act of unkindness...it is selfish, but in a self feeding kind of way. Lady......I am SOOOO cheering for you, both now in your professional endeavors, but ALSO in your personal life........Go get 'em!!!

[Cin44]

Whoa!! woman you are smokin' Hot!!
Lovin the new pics...

Sorry to read about all you are going through. That sometimes is what makes us stronger and provides the drive and determination to succeed, in spite of, the obstacles that surround us.

I'm looking forward to hearing about the show when I get back.
Have FUN!!!
Your gonna rock this....

[Italianangel]

I am between shows, its all fitness figure and there is height class, they eliminated girls right off the bat down to 15, for each category done right away during the first round 2 pc.
Then we did routines, I nailed it, and came home to eat and rest, while the figure gals are all probably still there! There are illions of them. fitness short was first up so we were done by 1pm.
This is one strict show, very tough. I did not make first call outs nor 2nd, 3rd or even 4th call outs............not a good sign. I feel good, look good, am dark and lean but am not one of the bigger gals, am 20 lbs smaller than the first call outs.........so if like by tradition, then first call outs are top 5......the 5th call outs were the left over smaller gals, the little nattys!!!
Ocean Bloom looks fabulous and lean and is one of the more well muscled gals, along with a few other girls I don't know. Allison Ethier is there she has put on some size, did not see her perform but her routines are always amazine, Sylvia Trembley is there too and also looks amazing, her suit which she did looks better then some of the really costly ones...she did a great job on it and her routines are normally very creative and energetic, entertaining and fun but I did not stay to watch, i was more excited to get home to commercial drive and get a grilled veg n cheese italian pannini with artichoke hearts, eggplant marinated, olives, oil, vinegar cheese.......and doritos sweet chili heat.......all gone, ate it!!! So i did not see the other girls routines which I normally do watch but I want to focus on me, be positive in my thoughts, and be at peace no matter what cuz I can get very nasty and negative and that is not how we win, we have to be humble and learn and be open and modest, that is how we win!!!


Us nattys, we just don't looks as hard and if we get hard we look lanky, stringy and small.....so lets see what the judges say!
Either way, I feel like I won the whole show, I feel good, enjoyed my time on stage and had fun with as well as nailed my routine and even coaxed all those tough family audience members to actually throw me out a cheer or clap, and they are the 'competitors' ties so at this show I noticed only those cheering for those they know, no matter what, so it was quiet even when some of the well known girls were flipping and stuff.....they travel in so they have no one there to watch........I had a few poeple there who know me and came to watch in genral but I did not have a 'posse' there like most of the locals so it was nice to hear some noise from them, I knew it was unbiased. Its too bad my routine is only 33%..........they eliminated girls before we even did routine, just based on body alone so that tells you alot and some of those gals are definatley to be envied, very hard, muscled and look amazing.......but most likely not nattys.
I want to find out if I can come back on 2 yrs in stead of yrly, in the event I don't win it all......teehee, so that I can grow.

[Italianangel]

[Italianangel]

Not sure my placing but was pleasantly surprised to see a few girls who could be naturals, in the top 5. There were 2 big girls, 1 soft smaller one who was bigger than me though, and 2 who are just in the middle and they are also slightly heavier than I but not by much, nothing too hard to attain!
Bottom line my look was not top 5 so now to find out what is and how to attain it in a year naturally.
Non of the more muscled gals placed top 5 except 2 who were not the most muscled but in the group of the 5 most muscular.
so now I will contact the judges and find out what they think I need to do in order to win this show. What do they want to see from me for next year.
I want to make sure I do exactly as needed, no use guessing as every fed is diff and I am pretty sure they are going to tell me to work on conditioning which means a bit bigger in certain areas but also harder....and I few areas I already know I bet......but lets see what they have to say. It will be interesting.....I am also curious if top 5 were all gymnasts, which I think may be the case and I don't think anyone from TEAM BC made top 5, also interesting.
t is true the east gals have a certain look certain suits and many are national level gymnasts. I will examine things closer and get any feedback, happily and humbly and will take full consideration of that feedback in order to improve my placing. Also curious what my placing was from 6-15.
Linda
ps
no pics til photographer sends them so.......

[Italianangel]

so this line up was the first call outs.
from left to right;
Allison Ethier, Sylvia Trembley, Tamara Vahn, Ocean Bloom, Allison Black Stirling and Jodi Boam, never heard of the last 3 but they are Easterners I think.
Ocean did not place top 5 though which I found interesting since she was in first call outs but her routine maybe was not what they look for, although colorful and creative, not very strong. She was up there though, the rest made top 5.
I did not see sylvia's routine but hers are usually good but most of this placing is based on body. Sylvia got second and could be natty, as could Allison who got 3rd. all very good gymnasts though and had some kicker suits on too.
The girl who won was was of the more muscled gals there and not sure shes natty but I think she could be based on genetics.....if you look closely, I am in the back in green between the dark girl in red who won (Tamara), and Ocean who is the very very blonde beside her on her right side with a purple/pink suit also one of the biggest girls there.
Allison and Sylvia did this show before already so I think if I recall right, they both were told to muscle up........and they have and were rewarded for it although they did not get pro cards. This chick tamara got overall so I think she got a card.
I was pretty lean, but it looks like I could have been even leaner from the looks of it but need size to go with........so my focus for the next year is size.......I am as of now still going to remain natural but I may have to consider some light drug use in order to get my pro card and at this point still do not want to do that. I am thinking I will see how well I do with muscle gains first for a year, if next year my placing is not any better I may dip a bit but I really do not want to get any more muscular than what sylvia or allison look like since they still look and sound like women, unlike a higher percent of the rest of the gals in fitness.
My BCs photos were posted too but I looked so soft.... 2008 BC Provincial - Bodybuilding, Fitness & Figure Championships - Linda Cusmano ....I was lean but bloated badly with pms so its not a sharp lean..........and to be honest I started bloated again last week a bit and started to hold water in the past couple days but not enough to soften me drastically or so, I guess we will see when I see the pics.

Well not too disappointed, but its always nice to be the winner, and such.......but obviously i have to work harder.
Linda

[tooncesthecat]

Way to go Linda! you always inspire and I admire your ambition and hard work. You're one tough chick and we love you for it

[Italianangel]

I came in 11th place.
Pretty low. Obviously not in the condition they want, obviously I have a ways to go to get where they want, a whole 10 places to go forward in order to look like a winner in their definition.
I await photos and feedback from head judge/judges regarding what I need to work on. I have already had some reply which was amazingly fast but the wording of my email threw off the question, so I reworded it in hopes it was posed correctly and still need to send pics, of which I don't have yet.
So the head judge awaits my pics.
Linda

[wil]

Originally Posted by Italianangel

obviously I have a ways to go to get where they want, a whole 10 places to go forward in order to look like a winner in their definition.

Now... I'm just thinking out loud here...

Wouldn't the top 5 or 6 "look like a winner in their definition"? I mean, at the level you are competing at, isn't the difference between 1st place and 5th/6th place (and maybe even 11th place) pretty slight? I'm just sayin'


Besides... you are still a WINNER (remember that SWFC thingy?).

[A1food4U]

Way to go Linda,

I know your a little disappointed but lets put this in perspective. 11th, not out of 12, not out of 100. 11th in your NATION!!!! Congratulations!!!! Go ahead and set new goals, always look forward to the next contest, but take a moment to absorb the this accomplishement.

All natural, true to yourself, through lots of adversity and with a bad back, C'mon girl.... YOU ROCK!!!!!